Hey, have you ever felt alone in this world? did you feel you didn't count?

I am 20 years old and I am still a virgin.
yes, I know, I was not able to even kiss a girl, I assume this fact: that I am a loser.
the problem is that:
This thing hurts me a lot..something inside me because of it. My soul hurts.
Sometimes I think about suicide ... and I want to die..it doesn't exist in this world anymore, because I can't accept that I didn't succeed
why am I still a virgin?
because I'm shy and withdrawn and introverted
usually when I see a girl I get intimidated .. I feel emotions inside me.

This is my secret.
I can't tell anyone this.
My pride helps me to keep going and not kill myself.
I can not enjoy life, I feel alien to this world.
I have days when I feel good, but when I remember being a virgin, the hurt in my soul hurts.😑
You understand?
I do not accept. I can't accept it! I can't accept that I'm weak!😤😠
I'm proud!!!
I need your help!
In real life I have no friends, you on this site are my only friends.
I need advice!

I hope you understand what I wrote.
I don't know English so much