@PUNKEY,
It's not actually a mistake, I always getting into fights with her because I doubted her every time. I was so afraid that she'll leave me one day because of her friends. That's the thing I did, I always didn't trust her but she always trusts me no matter how I blame her, how much I hurt her feelings. I said things that I shouldn't say, I know I did hurt her too much and someone like me never deserves someone like her. She never tries to argue when I'm fighting with her, she always wanted to stop fighting but I always keep blaming her. Now I didn't attend semester-end exams because I couldn't help it, I can't stop thinking about her and I feel so guilty about what I have done.
I'm letting go of everything that I have because I can't bear this anymore, especially my studies. I have stopped attending lectures because every time I see her at university I get panic and so on. I know I want to see a therapist or someone but my friends, family everyone laughing, blaming me when I say I want to see a therapist. If I can get one, just one chance I'm sure I can treat her like she deserves but like you said I still didn't correct my behaviors, I'm still the same guy.