@uncletom4,
1. I dont know why you think woman on top is dangerous. It is not.
2. Talk to your partner about what works and what doesnt work for you two. Every couple is different. Ezplore with him or her and if it makes you both feel good, then keep doing it.
3. If something feels like "torture" then stop doing it (unless you mean torture in a sexy way). The point is to talk to your partner. Tell him what you like... be positive as in "it really turns me on when we .... ". Then ask him what he likes and keep doing that.