Reply
Fri 22 Nov, 2019 06:51 pm
If a family member that you're very close to asked you to watch their child, 6 days a month on a rotating schedule (same days every month) from 8:40am-3:30pm who is 8 months old and you have an almost 4 year old of your own, would you expect them to pay you?
My cousin is asking me to watch her 8 month old. They would drop him at my house in the morning at 8:40am, I would have to leave with him and my daughter 10 min. later to drop at daughter at pre-school. Then pick her up from school at 11:30am, and have them both together for 4 hours. On top of that, my daughter does extra curricular activities so I would have to take him with me, and I do enjoy watching her.
Anyhow, I told her I don't mind helping her, and that 6 days is a lot. It's more than 1 week of an actual work schedule. Before she even asked me to watch him 6 days a month, she texted me asking me how I felt about watching him 3 days a week! I told her I couldn't commit to that because I do things with my daughter, and I work in the evenings and that would be too long of a day for me. I work part-time 4:30-9, and weekends. She got mad and upset, meanwhile she asked me how I felt about it first. She told me she would give me $40 in gas gift card, and pay for my daughter's after school program which would be $36/month if I did the 3 days a week from 8:40-3:30pm.
Currently for the past 3 months since she's been back to work, I'll go over there once a week, or maybe 3 times a month from 9:15-1:15 to watch her son so she can sleep because she works nights and her husband works days. She'll work 11pm-7am, and then I'll come over at 9:15 after I drop my daughter at pre school, leave with the baby at 11:30 to pick her up, and then come back to her house till she wakes up.
Her hours got cut at her current job, so she had to take on a second job so she works 40 hours a week because if not they can't afford their bills. She said she has no other help besides me and her friend who is watching her son 8 times a month, and she's giving her $40/day to watch him.
She then told me that "I have to" help her because she has no one else and she would do it for me. That night I get a text message from her husband saying he's sick of me making his wife cry, and that she doesn't understand why you're acting like this.
My cousin and I are very close. We lived together for a few years growing up, our parents are sisters, we've always been close. She texted me the 6 dates in January and said it would start in January and would be on a rotating schedule the same days every month. She said she would give me $80 in cash every month, for 6 days, almost 7 hours. I'm sorry, but am I being rude or nasty or greedy? Even though she's my family and we've always been close, I feel like I deserve more than that, I mean, at least $100 a month. I'm doing her a favor, so she can make money, while I'm watching her son.
She starts comparing me to her friend that watches him 8 days a month, and has a 1 year old and a 4 year old and works full time saying she has a lot more obstacles than me and I shouldn't be complaining and this should be easy for me. However, I have an almost 4 year old. My house is NOT baby proof whatsoever. My daughter has so many little toys, I don't have a crib, where is he going to nap? I have steps, I don't have a gate. I don't want my days to be consisted of holding for 6 hours while he's trying to get out and crawl around. Like I said she said I can go to her house and bring my daughter there and watch him, but then that's gas back and forth back and forth.
Please am I being unreasonable here, or should this be something that I should be totally finally with?
You should get the same rate as her friend.
But you really don’t sound like you want to babysit any child, including your cousin’s baby.
Im from the old school that says have as many children as you can afford. Clearly they think they can’t meet their bills and provide fir childcare for their child. You don’t mention if they are living beyond their means or husband is out of work, or some other issue, but this request sounds like you would be committed for a number of years.
It’s OK to say no, or at least to make sure you are compensated no less than the other babysitter.
@ruby04090,
ruby04090 wrote:
She said she would give me $80 in cash every month, for 6 days, almost 7 hours. I'm sorry, but am I being rude or nasty or greedy? Even though she's my family and we've always been close, I feel like I deserve more than that, I mean, at least $100 a month.
So you're quibbling over $20 a month, $5 a week?
@PUNKEY,
They both work full time but her one job her hours got cut so she had to pick up another job, so she still gets the 40 hours a week. She said child care for her son's age would be $800-1000 a month. Her husband works full time. She said to me obviously if I started working full time she would have to arrange something else. She thinks that because I am her family, family helps family. So she doesn't think I should get as much as her friend.
@chai2,
Oh no, I think I deserve more than $80 a month. But she couldn't even offer me $100, that's what I meant.
@ruby04090,
I think you are being squeezed, I'll come back later to complete my remarks....I just have some errands to run.
@glitterbag,
glitterbag wrote:
I think you are being squeezed, I'll come back later to complete my remarks....I just have some errands to run.
Yeah.
I hate when someone tells me anything like "you're the only one who can help", "I have no one else"
Well, if I got hit by a bus tonight, we both know you'd find someone else.
Screw guilt.
The choices are:
1. Tell the cousin you're backing out of the whole thing, and give her a carved in stone date (within 2 weeks) that you'll stop working for her.
She'll cry, and yell, and whine, and try to make it seem like she's owed some sort of explanation. Doesn't matter if she get 10 reasons, it won't be enough, or good enough.
The more words said by the OP, the harder it'll be. IMO, she's already let things get out of hand with all these different times, # of days, means of payment (gas cards? WTF?)
Cousin is just going to be mad.
Or, the OP can just drag this on. Didn't read anywhere where she's actually told her what She's able to do.
That is a third option.
Tell your cousin Exactly how many days a month, what days of the week, and for how much per day YOU are will to give her, not what she says she needs.
She'll find someone to fill in around you, or completely take over. Trust me.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace