My husband has been talking to an ex our whole marriage and lied till I caught him

Take a sheet of paper. Draw a vertical line down the center. Label the left side: Pros of Staying in Marriage. Label the right side: Cons of Staying in Marriage.

Make the two lists. And keep in mind that some things are bigger than others. A pays the bills early is probably worth more than snores like a buzzsaw. But you're the one who ultimately should be making this determination.

If you have children, then take their needs seriously, but there is also no sense and no point in staying together, allegedly "for their sake". All that does is teach children that loyalty and respect are meaningless in a relationship.

If you want to stay, then get into counseling, either together or alone, and figure out with an impartial professional where to go from here. And if you want to go, then you may still want and need to start with counseling to vent and get an idea of what your next moves are.

Thank you for your reply. We have no children together so at least there wont be issues there. He mentioned counseling but I'm not sure my heart is in it anymore. I hate liars. I've been lied to my whole life.