Are these red flags or am I just paranoid?

Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 10:03 am
I met someone very nice and caring recently. However, a few of my past relationships made me aware that to be happy I need to feel secure (that my partner needs to be financially secure like me) and someone who likes to travel since I'm close to retirement.
The new bf says he loves me and wants to move to my home even though we've only been together for 6 weeks. He is 68 years old and has been married and divorced twice. He says I'm the nicest person he's ever been with and he loves me like no other.
He is a professional like me and we have a lot in common. He has nice things but isn't a big spender (which is a good thing).
Based on him wanting to move the relationship forward in this fashion, I told him I need someone financially settled who can and wants to travel a bit in retirement. He told me he's not wealthy like me b/c of his divorces but he owns some real estate, his practice (which may not be worth much) and has a 401 (k) - he offered to tell me exactly and I declined. I told him I don't need anyone rich, but someone who can take care of themselves. I'm not sure where that leaves me.
I got into the travel issue too...saying I'd like to go to Greece next year and he seemed somewhat interested but he wasn't totally in it seemed. He is a sole practitioner and when I said he'd be gone for almost 10 days, that may have made him concerned. Seems like he's some travel but not much over his lifetime.
Now he wants to meet my daughter (adult)- she'll be here for Thanksgiving and my daughter is ok with meeting him then but he also mentioned his daughter and her family (with 2 small kids), and my daughter doesn't feel comfortable with all of that yet only meeting him first. The only way I can make that happen is to have him join me at my daughter's later this week (she lives out of state) - does that make sense?
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Type: Question • Score: 4 • Views: 231 • Replies: 4
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Jewels Vern
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 06:18 pm
Married and divorced twice -- sounds like a red flag to me. This guy just doesn't know how to take care of a woman.
Reply Mon 4 Nov, 2019 09:33 pm
@Jewels Vern,
Yeah, or maybe he just has bad judgement - which, is another red flag, of course.
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Reply Tue 5 Nov, 2019 07:40 am
Are you the one who has posted so many times before?

Is this the dentist?

Why do you keep gravitating towards men who you end up badgering about their finances?

Find a guy who obviously has much more money than you and will pay for everything - that really seems to be what you want if you’re honest about all this.
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Reply Tue 5 Nov, 2019 09:54 am
If you're going to Greece, Crete is very good. It's popular with the package tour crowd so accommodation is quite reasonable and it's got a ton of stuff.
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