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Fri 1 Nov, 2019 11:59 pm
I can't seem to shake this notion that the majority of women, especially attractive women (even Christian women), only want the stereotypical bad boy--tattoos, motorcycle, cuss word, slept with more than a dozen women....even their religious background is not important. Having been subjected to secular culture, it is apparent that the secular man will, in many cases, specifically pursue the goody goody Christian girl, and rejoice at all their successes...and what's worse, in most stories, they tell of a woman who pursued them first. I should point out, that these accounts seem pretty reliable, as they do make note that not all women are like this, and have found the are deeply devout girl who would completely reject them, but for the most part, these bad boys are successful and bringing Christian women to bed.
But my problem is, why do women fall for it? There are plenty of upstanding men in the church, and yet, the women reject the men who regularly attend church, pray, read their Bible...even the outgoing ones that share their faith.
While I don't claim to be good, I don't go out of my way to be evil...but I have noticed a few things: When I first attended church as a non Christian...women were all over me...until I converted...then they wanted me no more...until I had an angry moment where I yelled at the entire church to be quiet as pastor was vying for people to sit down and I was annoyed....I remember very vividly that day being approached by several attractive ladies. I also remember being pursued only when I would leave the church for a while.
Recently, a Christian girl said she wanted to befriend every single coworker of hers...I didn't agree this was necessarily a good idea, but that she should be careful...even though she was annoyed at first, she and her friend began texting me 5 times a day...when I responded nicely, asking how their day was...they backed off.
I know nobody is perfect, but at some level this makes me feel like I have to be a degenerate if I actually want to find a woman to marry.
@shyguygamer1,
shyguygamer1 wrote:
I know nobody is perfect, but at some level this makes me feel like I have to be a degenerate if I actually want to find a woman to marry.
No, and you would not be happy if it worked out that way.
This doesn't make any sense.
If a person wants to settle down, then they are (most of the time) not looking for someone wild.
And if they are looking for someone wild, they aren't looking to settle down.
All I know from your interactions here is you are a shy gamer guy, looking for romance.
So look for a shy gamer gal.
This means hanging out where they are, and not just online. Look for Meetup groups centering around things like being Marvel or DC fans, cosplay, sci fi, nerdy stuff, SCA, and the like.
Go to any local conventions you can find. Decide what your geographical limit is, and use that as a gauge (so, if you live in Cincinnati, Louisville might work). Be flexible.
Go to these events. And talk to the people who are hugging the wall, even if they are male, or married, or not your type. Someone is bound to know someone.
I think you need to cast your net wider, and fish in the right pond.
@shyguygamer1,
I have two daughters - both of who have attended Christians schools at least during one period of their lives. I won't refer to one as she is still in high school.
But my older one who is early 20s - has never liked the "bad" boys. She is far from being a perfect Christian girl, however, she is I would say much more goody goody than the other way. She has had more of the "bad" boy type to pursue her and she has had no interest in them. She actually has probably dated less because she is the type that won't just go out with another boy.
I know she is dating a young man now - he seems nice - I haven't met him as they are both out of state and a good a distance away. But she says he is a very nice guy.
So there are definitely those girls that date bad boys and those that do not. I think the ones that do date bad boys - you hear about more - the others are not out bragging about who they are dating or showing off.
Maybe you are looking at the wrong girls. Also - you mention about the "attractive ladies" approaching you; about them pursuing you - have you approached them?
Have you been a bit more direct and actually asked them out? Hey want to get some coffee or breakfast after the service?
Have you attended any of the smaller church groups? That would be an easier way to meet them. Not sure your age, but many churches have groups/gatherings specifically for single young adults - does your church have any of that - great way to make friends both with the guys and women.
@Linkat,
lol says he's nice but you haven't met him yet....and they live miles away....so she was being respectful while under your care but trust me...she's probably doing her experimenting now.
From a Christian source...61% of female Christians age 18-29 engage in and promote premarital sex--and 80% promote it and would if given the opportunity.
let's also use the factors that those women less attractive physically are also less likely to engage; then we have specifically the extremely religious...about 20%, so likely those who go into missionary work or become pastors, or who marry young, and the marry young is a very high number.
Soooo is there a chance she's maintained purity? It's very slim...very, very slim. Trust me...if a woman DID in fact engage in premarital relations...it is NOT something she would discuss with her family...unless she became pregnant.
@shyguygamer1,
You honestly think Linkat doesn't know that about her own offspring, and her own experience, having been young?
@shyguygamer1,
I’m not talking about whether they have a sexual relationship or not I am talking about him being a nice guy not a bad boy as described by the poster. You can actually be nice and have sex.
She is a young adult and I trust her to make a good decision in this choice. Sex is a normal part of life ... it is completely different for a young adult having a committed relationship and one that is sleeping around.
I have a close relationship with her and know which side she is on. And also have confidence that she would choose a relationship with a young man with similar values.
What I am saying is she isn’t interested in the bad boys ... which is not to say that she isn’t interested in having an adult relationship with a nice guy.