Should I quit the seemingly negative, fake friend?

I appreciate if people have the time to read.

I enjoy having few friends. The few friends I have are true people in my life are ones that relate to me on a seriously deep level. I am always objective and open-minded when it comes to assessing whether the people in my life are beneficial or not. But currently, at Age 20, I feel the need to ask people for advice.

The friend in question I have known since 2014 (6 years to date). The things I value in him are loyalty, humour, straight-forwardness and his lack of shame. To me, he is someone that would never lie or manipulate his friends. He will always tell the truth and look to find humour in bad situations.

To understand what kind of a person he is, here is some background:
1. Grew up in a family of 7 – oldest in the household.
2. Biological father left when he was a young child.
3. Completed Grade R to 10 and then pursued a career in the Military (Army).
4. Claims to have had an abusive step-father.
5. ENFP personality type – impulsive, full of ideas, campaigner

I met him during my high schooling. He hardly had any friends because he would antagonise people all of the time, for attention I assume. The persona he created for himself was just a bully and a weird person. He would seek altercation – mostly verbal, nothing serious. If he had a chance to provoke or threaten someone, he would always take it. He did get into trouble many times in high school- suspended for insulting another student, threatening people, one incident where he did physically hurt someone.

I befriended him because I wanted to understand why he did what he did. No harm, I thought. I might be able to help him. I assumed what he was doing was counter-productive and he needed to self-assess. But I never wanted to change him, just understand him.

The friendship turned into any other friendship and I soon realised he was more normal than people thought. As years went on, the connections grew deeper and his lack of shame made it easier to relate to things. Some of the most positive moments in my life involved his company and humour.

He left in Year 10 (age 17) to kick-start a new life in the Army. He didn’t like schooling or being at home with 7 younger kids - so this in his mind was the right move. He changed state but we kept in contact through online messengers and initially he felt liberated and excited to organise his life. He had money and freedom so he was happy for a few months. We would talk every day and occasionally play video games together.

About a year later he starts telling me he regretted joining the Army because of the quality of the people he had to work with, the non-flexible hours and the tough lifestyle. I listened and helped him explore coping methods or just exit strategies. However, his behaviour altered after this chat.

He started spending all of his pay from his job. Mostly on alcohol at parties, video game consoles, stuff he didn’t need but had to buy for his satisfaction like overly expensive audio units and flashy rims for his car. He took out a $30,000 loan to purchase a car. He had no control over what he was doing. He would buying video games for 2 days then returning the console because it got ‘boring’. He had nothing else to do and there was no internal joy he could feel without external means.

He tells me he has no ambitions, no drives, no goals. When he comes to me with ideas it’s always about driving cars ridiculously fast, dealing drugs, strip clubs, becoming a gangster / bikie. His mind is all about him and he can never settle on solid good intentioned plans or interests. He is becoming increasingly impulsive and unstable. I worry his ego will get the better of him and his life will further deplete into criminal habits with no place to go but down. Everything in his life is extreme and changes from day to day. His interests, his attitude / mood, his use of language, the way he dresses – is becoming more and more intimidating (unapproachable). He is creates fake voices and tries to act tough all the time. He is always probing and analysing me and trying to correct my behaviour.

Having a friend like this around is a bit stressful, intimidating and becomes hard to relate to. I don’t necessarily agree with half of the things he has interest in – and that’s fine, everybody is different. But it becomes very difficult when you try to give someone advice and they are very tunnel minded on specific yet impulsive, volatile, unorthodox goals / interests / intentions. Acting like they are smarter than you to protect themselves. I don’t try to compete with him but he competes with me, like he competes with anybody else. It makes me think it’s an insecurity thing. I don’t want an insecure friend, I want something to inspire me and actually care about me. Not an Army tough guy with an unstable life and no foundation for his thoughts or values. Maybe I’m just picky but please understand my frustration.

Occasionally I will feel like I have to end it between him and me, because nothing in his life is changing after a solid 3 years in the Army. I don’t want to be surrounded by insecurity or negativity when he comes home from work and needs someone to talk to. I want stability and good core values from a friend. Someone who cares more about others and doesn’t talk about killing people and joining criminal gangs on the daily. It doesn’t feel intelligent, it feels fake. If you have an opinion I appreciate it.

My personality type is INFJ. I don’t give up on friends but maybe I should for my own sanity! Thank you for your opinion.