One sided relationship

Why stay?

That what I'm asking myself and in my heart I feel as though it has to end. She tells me she loves it when we are alone as it's as though there is nobody else in the world. Her time is always spent in the flat with her parents i told her she needs to start being a 35 yr old woman. I'm sick and tired of coming to bed alone and waking up alone it's not what a relationship should be night after night, after what's going on for 6 years now. Once upon a time she would be here with food and flowers and that's all gone. I tell her if it wasnt for me going to her then we would never see each other. I think and feel in my heart that it's over and by the next time I see her I will have to tell her, i cannot go on like this.

She tells me all the time she loves me but cant bare my having others in my life, but my boys who are grown up will always be in my life. She knows it's all wrong how she is and her parents flat is so quite, they split up but mums in the one room her dad in another and she has her room and she is soooooo used to that it's not healthy as her growth is stunted. She gets pocket money they pay for everything so they make it too comfortable for her too leave and to progress as a woman.

Why stay. Well I dont know tbh as it's making me insane and so unhappy.

Life doesn't have to be this way

I know, i would sooner be working through the pain of the rship ending and get through that, rather than continue to feel as I do now and continuing to put up with it. Maybe ending it will be the realisation she needs because the more I put up with it the longer she will be this way and its not fare to anyone.

End things (if that's what you truly want) to help yourself, not to somehow make her see anything. She's a grown woman, despite how her parents are treating her and how she's behaving.

She will take lessons from a breakup. Or not. That's her concern. It's not yours.

Yep that true, I gave it everything and she has taken that and destroyed it till I wont and cant give no more and now if I continue to give then whose the fool. Now I start separating myself from her and withdrawing my emotions and I'm seeing myself as me not us.

Ok so I had a heated debate with my gf and I told her exactly how I felt and the bottom line was I felt neglected and not heard, I felt as though who I was, was disappearing and I had reached a point I didnt know what made me happy, I did end the relationship as I was hurting too much and it was unhealthy. However, my gf wouldnt have it as we loved each other very much and we are still learning about one another and learning how we can help one another in the relationship. She has hobbies that we both enjoy but iys more her hobby than mine, she likes fishing so do I but I love art, I love drawing so and I enjoy going to the gym and sitting in a cafe or restaurant on my own and watching the world fo by, so I do that now, I have also started my own business and I have just been given a contract to organise a property for a landlord who also has other houses and things are going really well. For now things are going really well, we talk more and I feel much more relaxed and mentally I feel as though we are in a good place as I'm not getting myself worked up I'm doing more of what I want. I have to remain calmer and not want to bail when things go wrong as it's a temporary emotion and we say things that make matters worse instead of working together we fight against each other and that gets us nowhere. "So for now we are good and the strain has been eliminated not my gf"

So is she going to make any effort to spend time alone with you that doesn't include her dad?

You know I came to the conclusion that "I have to accept the things I cannot change" now I have started to get on with my life, today she was going to come to my house after a shower, then she rang but I didnt answer as I was giving myself a pamper, because I hadn't answered she tells me shes going to get some beauty bits and will be over later and then shes going train spotting with her dad, so I said " ok I tell you what as I'm going away tomorrow why dont I come over after the gym I will buy something nice for us to eat and I will stay over, she said no as she wanted time alone as she had an incident at work and left the job and it had an impact on her, I said ok well let's leave it and you just go with your dad and I want to go the cinema after the gym, in response she said that she really wanted to see me so it was agreed that I would call her once I was done. Next I get a text that shes eating chicken and chilling out. I know how hard it is being with her when in reality she wants to be alone so I cancelled I had my workout bought some nice food and came home to my son, then she checks I'm home safe. I see her on Monday for a college open evening for my son as she wants to be there. Shes going away with her dad fishing and shes going train spotting in the week. I'm refusing to go there and even though she doesn't like being at my house due to the voices of the children next door then shes going to have to get used to the fact I'm not going over to her dads. They go away on the 14tb for 3 nights with him but I'm not rising to it, I know she likes to get some response from me but I wont allow it, I have started my own business plus I work full time and I'm getting involved in the community and I have been invited out for a meal.

So basically I'm getting on with my life and if she wants to do what ever with her dad, that's just fine but I'm going to France to see my brother, I asked her to come but I doubt she will so I'm going to take my mum.

I can actually understand why people have affairs in this situation but I'm really not into that as I'm honest and truthful and now I see it as what will be will be, one life only and I'm getting on with it.