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Wed 1 Jun, 2005 10:16 am
Yeah. F--- yeah!
Five days ago, the ten day forecast said rain everyday. Ten days of rain.
Checked today. STILL ten days! Ten more days of rain!
I see two outcomes:
1. This great state I live in, norotorious for being behind the times and electing politicians concerned with "values" (ten commandments in the courtroom!) more than putting money in schools and other things gov. officials are supposed to do...will become cutting edge, like other places with similar climates. London, Seattle, for example.
Well, maybe what cutting edge was ten years ago. All the southern sorority belles will start wearing oversized flannels, and put pink streaks in their hair. Bands with names like "Spork" will show up, all the members with long hair and goatees. They'll show "Reality Bites" at the theater "downtown." We'll have one of them newfangled "coffeehouses" and I'll make a fortune selling dreamcatchers.
or
2. I'm going to lose my mind. Let's see, what blunt objects do I have? Don't be surprised if you hear about the "Rolling Pin Killer" on the news in a couple of days.
Love,
Gargamel
Because you wanted to know.
Extrapolating from the data at hand, it appears that it will continue to rain forever. Have a nice day.
Kinda like driving in the West in the wintertime, huh.
The sign says 60 miles to home and you're driving 60mph. One hour to go.
Starts snowing so you slow down to 50. The sign says 50 miles to home. One hour to go.
Visibility drops off, so you slow to 40mph and darnded if the next sign doesn't say 40 miles to home. One hour to go.
Now the snow is extend across the road, so you drop it to 30mph. . . .
Thanks for cheering me up, both of you.
I must now tend to my wrists.
All part of the service. As Scott Adams is wont to say, "a little ray of bitter sunshine."
Gargamel wrote:Thanks for cheering me up, both of you.
I must now tend to my wrists.
just remember to run the water really hot.
And to hell with that stuff about cutting parallel to your arm. You're serious about this, right? You aren't going to need those tendons.
In '94-'95 we had exactly 40 straight days of heavy rain in Santa Cruz. At one point, every road out of (and into) town was blocked by mudslide. Supermarket shelves started to empty. Fresh produce cost a small fortune.
Still, though, didn't need an ark. The only land that disappeared was the bit of beach at the base of West Cliff, and that was back within a few weeks.
Musta rained harder in the old days.
I'll wait for the locusts. Then it's slash, slash.
You think I'm joking? Huh, huh?
YOU DON'T KNOW PAIN
If it makes you feel any better, it's been 6 weeks since I've bought my new motorcycle. We've had 6 weekends in a row with rain. I've had one day where I've put 200+ miles on it, and I ended up in pouring rain on the way home.
But dude, just wait until Pearl Jam's "Ten" gets popular in your town. And Nirvana. It'll be awesome. Just watch out for that AIDS that's coming around.
You can't ride your motorcycle, I can't go rollerblading in my Umbros while simultaneously grooving to my new Spin Doctor's CD, what's the world coming to?
You should really check out Creed while roller skating with your Kango hat on.
They rock, and you'll look hella cool bopping your head around while cruising through the mall.
Just make sure you're wearing your headband.
a few thoughts on this from laurie anderson
A certain American religious sect has been looking at conditions of the world during the Flood.
According to their calculations, during the Flood the winds, tides and currents were in an overall southeasterly direction.
This would mean that in order for Noah's Ark to have ended up on Mount Ararat, it would have to have started out several thousand miles to the west.
This would then locate pre-Flood civilization in the area of Upstate New York, and the Garden of Eden roughly in New York City.
Now, in order to get from one place to another, something must move.
No one in New York remembers moving, and there are no traces of Biblical history in the Upstate New York area.
So we are led to the only available conclusion in this time warp, and that is that the Ark has simply not left yet.
djjd62.
My God!.... I think you got it.
djjd62 wrote:a few thoughts on this from laurie anderson
A certain American religious sect has been looking at conditions of the world during the Flood.
According to their calculations, during the Flood the winds, tides and currents were in an overall southeasterly direction.
This would mean that in order for Noah's Ark to have ended up on Mount Ararat, it would have to have started out several thousand miles to the west.
This would then locate pre-Flood civilization in the area of Upstate New York, and the Garden of Eden roughly in New York City.
Now, in order to get from one place to another, something must move.
No one in New York remembers moving, and there are no traces of Biblical history in the Upstate New York area.
So we are led to the only available conclusion in this time warp, and that is that the Ark has simply not left yet.
Not so fast! Joseph Smith saw God in upstate New York! Yup, that's where God showed him the special tablets he could only see with the secret glasses.
I know that's not in your rag tag bible. But it is in the Book of Mormon, and therefore it is the undisputable truth. What does this have to do with the flood? Nothing, it was just a perfect opportunity for me to convert you all into Latter Day Saints. Give me your address and I can mail you some exciting literature.
Brother Gargamel.
Damn it. You just made me realize that my NW airlines card, on which I elected (elected! ha!) to use the title "Brother" might peg me as LDS! I were hoping they would peg me as some sort of shambling shaggy sloppy Baptist.
Durn the luck.
Ouch.
As an LDS you will be subject to rigorous Homeland Security profiling. The aryan features of many LDS make them prime terror suspects.
And rightly so.
And all for a bit of fun. (I have been bumped up to first class twice since I got the card, though I think it was more to do with flying alone and/or gay flight stewards...)
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