Shifting Moods, Truths and Games

I will start by saying that I think I know the answers to everything going on, im just looking to talk about it all.

Ill start at the beginning;
Ive been married for almost 27 years to a someone I love dearly. We have had some really good years and bad. 2018 was a bad year on our whole family, and I didn't really notice the subtle changes until February of this year. In the past 26 years, we made love at least 3 times a week, even when things weren't going good. In February, this year I realized that we hadn't at all since November, and I can count how many times its been since. Its not been the same, its been almost an act; and virtually nothing for my pleasure. Ive tried special panties, pictures talking ect. We have talked about it and have attributed some of it to greif, timing ect..Yet, He is cold to me. He does touch and kiss me but never reaches for me if you know what I mean? I have read that these things change with age, and if this was just it, I would leave it, and not be here and love him anyways and get over it. But there has been other things too.

The next thing is a phone that he "found" at Target back in February; it was very strange, its hard to explain we were looking at tablets and he came over plugged it up and said it was just there. He wanted to keep it, so we did but it felt odd to me, it was a cheap flip phone, the service stayed on a week and then shut off .I have looked up the number, it belonged to a woman and the worst part, is that she has a facebook picture with a hat on that says weapons instructor..he is very much into guns and such..it could be nothing just a coinicidence?? yet it feels like everything yuck.. my next step is to send it to a tech pi and see what if any messages are in the deep memory.. onward to more..

There is an awkward silence, and I find myself doing most of the talking, planning everything even when I ask for his input. and occasionally, I swear its as if hes a different person , almost backhanded and mean. He played a song cold hard b!t6h, and jammed out; ive never known that from him, he asked me what was wrong after and I told him and he said "oh , i don't even know what songs they play these days" so a little stung a few days later I played (im stupid, acting like a two year old here) Look what you made me do and jammed, his only remark was , "yes it got cold in here didn't it?". I felt so much worse...sigh...

More..

Some of my clothes have come up missing, and I feel like someone has been in my things. I have talked about this and the response is that I must be farting in my sleep, no more or less.

The last thing and most painful was the trip to Florida last week; It was really good as far as no arguing, and beuatiful. fun etc with everyone;but in my heart I felt alone, and that he couldn't wait to get home and sleep (he pretty much sleeps the weekends away, which I understand..its just that it wasn't always like this, we went through a love challange a few years ago and it really worked..maybe just need to ride things out..I have a demanding job but when Im home and off its 100% for him, maybe its all just too much..and my heart loves enough to see that..and hurts enough not to..