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Husband's female boss invited him for dinner. Just two of them.

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Camefromeurope
 
Reply Sat 27 Apr, 2019 01:48 pm
My husband's boss is a young, single woman that has invited him for a dinner, just two of them. He told me about it, but also mentioned she wants to get to know him better and have an "out of office conversation" with him, which means they won't be talking about work. I know she is single and she is not even 30.
My husband already accepted her invitation and they should meet in three days, just my husband and this woman.
We have been married for almost a year, no kids.
Also - I am not from USA but from Europe where even an invitation for a dinner in two (male plus female) is taken as a date when this comes from a single person.

Is this a normal process in States having a dinner with your bosses (not just a work dinner, but a personal one) even though you are married? Is this just something what is different in my culture and is normal here? I am a little bit scared this lady wants to get closer to my husband through the dinner and I feel like she should not be so willing to meet my husband alone and invite him to go out with him. Seems very unprofessional to me. Thanks for any advice.
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engineer
 
  2  
Reply Sat 27 Apr, 2019 02:50 pm
@Camefromeurope,
No, this is highly unusual. It wouldn't be unusual for her to invite both of you out and a welcome lunch on a workday for a relatively new employee is not uncommon, but a non work related dinner invite is weird. All that said, if you trust your husband and he also thinks it is weird, you should be ok. What industry is this in?
Ragman
 
  1  
Reply Sat 27 Apr, 2019 03:14 pm
@Camefromeurope,
“Danger, Will Robinson!”

Bill Clinton often used this ploy.
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Linkat
 
  2  
Reply Mon 29 Apr, 2019 08:07 am
@engineer,
engineer wrote:

No, this is highly unusual. It wouldn't be unusual for her to invite both of you out and a welcome lunch on a workday for a relatively new employee is not uncommon, but a non work related dinner invite is weird. All that said, if you trust your husband and he also thinks it is weird, you should be ok. What industry is this in?


I agree - this is unusual whether you are both married, one married or both single. But will they be 100% alone - if they are in a public restaurant they might be dining alone but they won't be alone. I would hope they are dining in a public restaurant. If not, I would suggest he not go. He can simply say I am sorry but I have plans with my wife.

That being said if it is in a restaurant - like stated if you trust your husband no worries. If she comes on to him, he just needs to say sorry I love my wife and have no interest in cheating on her.
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A widow
 
  1  
Reply Wed 1 May, 2019 05:43 pm
@Camefromeurope,
This is completely INNAPPROPRIATE of her on every level!!!!! She is violating professionalism. She is violating YOU!!! You are his wife. First priority for ALL respectful women is respect the boundaries of you and your husband. She does not need to have an out of office meeting for any reason!!! Your husband should cancel, or encourage an office meeting only, or inform her, with all due respect, that he is married and does not go out to dinner with other women
If she is unhappy with that, he may consider reporting her to Human Resources, file a complaint, or find another job!
I have just been through a boundary issue myself with my boyfriend, whom I just broke up with, because he has a female friend that is too close for comfort. A respectful woman knows to respect the boundaries of another woman's man!
Let us know how it turned out.
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