EXCLUSIVE !! ELLPUS RE-VIRILIFIED.

In a shameless attempt to lure the female voters on this forum, I have been to Virility classes for the past two weeks, with amazing results.
I have cut down on the Cognac to just a bottle a day, and have been following a strict diet regime which requires me to become a "second stage vegan" ie I can only eat meat from animals who are strict vegetarians.
I have also been on a course of "Boner", the new herbal male enhancement treatment, and have already had to buy baggier trousers.
One hint of a filly therefore, and I am now more rampant than when I was 15 and being taught French by Mme Sauvage at Eton. Aaah, that lovely lady, she virtually pulled me through Puberty, and then a couple of times when I was in my twenties.
I realise that in order for you ladies to vote for me, you need to know a bit more about my life, so therefore I now give you a potted history :-

After a difficult birth, I immediately went into a boarding school for the disgustingly rich. My father (Ellpus the third), made his fortune by mercilessly exploiting the natural resources of Patagonia, which paid for the complete renovation of Droitwich Manor and the purchase of the surrounding villages.
As feudal custom dictates, It is my right to "try out" the maidens within these villages, on the eve of their wedding. However, I have only exercised this right on eight occasions.
After Eton, I went into the Flying Corps, but was dishonourably discharged for being drunk in charge of a Sopwith Camel.
I was then commisioned into the Kings Cavalry regiment, and was mainly responsible for the downfall of the British Empire over the next few years.
After leaving the Cavalry, I worked hard at being rich and idle, and have at last found my vocation.
My areas of interest are varied, but include Cognac, Foie Gras, banquets and non stick Kitchen Utensils when waved in a provocative manner.
Having such wealth, I am satisfied in the knowledge that I generate many thousands of jobs around the world.
Although my employees are paid at a pitifully poor rate, at least they are not collecting welfare and being a burden to taxpayers like myself.

I trust this new "me" is sufficiently alluring to gain your vote.

A vote for GKE is a vote for an appreciation of male virility, morals, ethics and good old fashioned honour.

HOORAH !


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Ellpus

(sponsored by "Boner"....the hard way made easy)