MY FELLOW INTREPIDNESS....

My fellow Intrepidness, my advisers have have notified me that you have a suspicion that I am thought of as a falsificational type person of the imposterial kind.
Heck, if I was Canadian, I would have a suspicious nature as well, seeing as your Country borders China. You must be pretty wary of things right now down in your neck of the woods, especially if Peru starts getting involved.
Let me give you assurancisations about my personage in a clarificational type way, so that you can understand.
My personage is DEFINITELY the personification that I began with, and I remain the same person, in an authentic, original manner-wise type of condition.
I would like.............< KNOCK KNOCK >........Come in "

"Good Morning Sir, there is something I need to discuss with you, if I may "

"Go ahead Condi"

"It is about Independence Day, I know it's a long way off but we have to plan ahead. Our people around the World are wondering what your thoughts are"

"About what?"

"About whether we celebrate in the sensitive areas, or just keep quiet"

"They can celebrate in that way if they want, as long as its behind closed doors, and the kids cant see"

"No Sir, I mean the Hot Spots"

"C'mon, you can say it, you mean their erroneous zones. Hell, whatever turns 'em on, as long as they're married."

"No, I mean parties and such"

"You mean we have some wierdos working for us?" Group participation in a hetero type setting?"

"No Sir, nothing to do with that. I want to know whether our staff should throw ordinary parties, fireworks and such, in hostile Countries on Independence day?"

"Of course they should. Non American folks will understand, after all it was us that saved their asses on that occasion anyhow"

"How so Sir?"

"Well, that good ol' boy went up in that strike eagle and fair rammed that nuke right into the mother ship"

"He ...what...hu..."

"And him just a drunken ol' crop duster, just goes to show you can achieve anything in America"

"No Sir, Independence day is all about the war against the British"

"We're at war with the Brits?, and there was me thinking they wuz on our side"

"No Sir, it was a long time ago, when we broke away and gained our freedom"

"Then why isnt it called Freedom Day, so we dont confuse it with the time we whupped them Aliens?"

"The Alien thing was in Hollywood Sir"

"They got that close did they? They could have ruined the whole film business"

"Ummmm, I'll talk to you tomorrow, Sir"

"OK, dont forget I got Mrs Standon tomorrow at ten, we're moving on to the next Harry Potter"

"Good luck Sir"

"Thanks, I'll need it. There arent as many pictures in it this time"........< SLAM >

"Now, where was I ?....Oh yeah, I would like to show my solidarity with your Country in your time of worry, by speaking to you in your native tongue.

ICH BIEN EIN CANADIANNA !

And let me just say, your accent sure is wierd, but you make the best goddamn Canadian Maple syrup in the world.

As a further message of peace, I will now sing your national anthem. I ask my fellow Americans to also join in. So all of you stand......

and scroll down slowly........

and join in with the chorus.......< CLICK > ( I hope I got the right button this time ).....
(nope, nothing happened, try this one)<click>




"I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK

I sleep all night and I work all day (chorus bits are in brackets....all join in now)

(He's a lumberjack and he's OK
He sleeps all night and he works all day)

I cut down trees I eat my lunch
I go to the lavatreeeee
On Wednesdays I go shopping
and have buttered scones for tea

(He cuts down trees he eats his lunch
He goes to the lavatreeee
On Wednesdays He goes shopping
and has buttered scones for tea)


I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok
I sleep all night and I work all day
I cut down trees I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers
I put on womens' clothing and hang around in bars (whoo, I dont like that bit)


I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok
I sleep all night and I work all day
I cut down trees, I wear high heels
Suspendies' and a braaaaa
I wish I'd been a girly
Just like my dear pa-pa...........<CLICK >....(that's enough of that potty mouth stuff.)



<KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK> ....Come in"
"Did you press that red button, Sir?"

"Yeh, but nothing happened"

"You have just placed the Eastern Seaboard on DEFCOM 1 alert, Sir"

"Oh no, not again....

Gotta go y'all, "

Dubya.