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Help me

 
 
Reply Tue 12 Mar, 2019 11:06 pm
i was into an affair with this married man for 6 years. He has a son of 14 and married for 15 years and told me he separated from his wife for the last 8 years which is true. But he kept in touch with her for the son. I had issues with my own marriage so we both started an affair tht lasted for 6 years. I came to know that he was still tryin to make up with hi wife so I asked him to come clean so that we can stop affair and be friends but he always said he hated her. I caught him red handed and leaked all info about affair to hsi wife. TO my shock, the wife was mad at him( though they never met in the past few years) and he kept lowprofile for a month and came back to me. He didnt know I leaked the emails.

Then I started to notice some changes in his behaviour again after 6 months. He started getting close to a girl of 23. he said she is an artist and he is just friends with this girl. Again I requested him to tell me the truth if he has any feelings for her because I wanted friendship with him forever and thats more important. But he kept telling me that he has nothing with her as she is a kid. I trusted him again but still had some doubts somewhere. Suddenly one day I caught himw tih her in his room kissing. I confronted him and he asked me to leave. I didnot and told the girl everything about the affair.showed her all the emails and pictures. She left from his place after slapping him. Later she called me and we both spoke for hours together and to our shock we found that he was spending the first half of the day with me and the second with her. He took me to movesi, spas, lunches, played chess with me till evening. Later he spent nights having sex with her, took her for shopping and all other places we visited. He even spoke exactly the same dialogues to both of us women.

But he never had sex with me the moment he met her. Thats only solace.

She told me that she even aborted his child . She showed me their whats app chat and she indeed was preganant.
Later both of us came to know from a common friend that this guy actually trapped this girl after she came to him for treatment. He planned to trap her for sex and with his cute talk and charm he managed to do that. This common friend introduced the girl to this man.

After the truth came out, The girl put his name on facebook and warned told entire story to the world. Tagged him. She went to his home and told his sister about him. She showed my mails to his sister. Apparently this man told her that after separation from wife, he never touched another woman while he was having sex with me day and night. Also he lied to her ( just lke how he lied to me) that I was only his friend and past ex GF who was obsessed with him. This pissed her off and she realised that she has been actually trapped with a plan.

I was happy that she came to kow the truth, I was shocked because I didnot want my mails on facebook. I simply wanted her to show that he was with me while he was sleeping with her. But unfortunately, she is now planning to take him to court filing a case of molestation.
He had 6 months of affair with her. During that period, I begged him to tell me if he had any relationship so that I get closure and I can move on so friendship at least can be saved. But he kept lying that he didnot.
Now he blocked me everywhere and stopped talking to me.
I requested her to move on in life or patch up with him but she wants to take him to the court.
Im so worried.

I dont understand why the girl wants to file a complaint against him when their relationship was consensual. I was anyway his EX who went to only movies and shopping with him. She was the one whom he was having sex with. Luckily he never touched me in these 6 months( but was planning to go out on vacation with me ) so may be I still have some respect for him. But he confused me to no end buy planning for vacations, by talking to me whole day n night, feeling jealous when I spoke to ohter men. So I thought he was simply taking a break from me. I was so confused. Am I reason for their breakup? I was mad because he lied to me for 6 months and badmouthed me before her when he could clearly told me that he was in a relationship . It could have saved our friendship
Now how can I request him to be friends with me again? I dont care wiht whom he sleeps but he has been a good friend to me and I want his friendship.

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Dominick23
 
  2  
Reply Wed 13 Mar, 2019 12:12 am
From what I can tell by reading this post. This guy, he will never ever again experience true love. He seems to have an addiction for women. I have not a single clue as to why would you want to be in any contact with this man. Reading this post just makes my head hurt.
kalpanas103
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Mar, 2019 08:02 am
@Dominick23,
Noone will understand that i am not able to handle this negativity of him blocking me. Its eating me away. Im perfectly OK to leave this place if he agrees to unblock me and talk once in a month or two.

He is a doctor but had very little practise. He is a very rich man and since wife and kid dont stay and he doesnt pay a rupee to them, he doesnt need to earn a lot of money. I never saw him upgrading his skills/attending conferences/workshops etc., ever. Hardly there would be one patient per day. Sometimes no one.

Initially in the relationship, we used to have physical relationship but slowly it reduced because I wasnt liking it much and I was more into doing other things together. He would be unhappy about it but he never stopped talking to me.
We even went to London on a trip together. We were planning to go to the US this August to watch Tennis match.

This is how his typical day would be like:

Wake up at 5:30 am, go for tennis. Play till 8 am.
8:00am : Call me while going home from tennis
8:30-9:30 am : chat on whats app with people including me
10:30 am : call me while on his way to clinic
We plan the day
Every alternate day to the mall/shopping/bill payment/temple/ till 1:00 pm
Then he would drop me home and go to clinic which is 500 mts away from my home.
see patients if any
or have lunch and watch **** in his clinic
Play online chess with me daily ( atleast 4 games throughout the day/night)
around 5:00pm drinks/gossip with friends
7:30 pm: go home from clinic calling me on the way
Every friday we watched a movie followed by lunch for sure

We would visit all museums, each and every movie released, lunches, breakfast, dinners, play chess throughout the day( online game) shop everything together, pay bills, discuss people, politics. We went to so many places around the city and also outside the city.

On whats app we would discuss a lot of politics, academics, relatives, gadgets, games etc throughout the day.

I am unable to forget all the places we visited together as the same lanes I walk through now all alone. The Friday movies, the lunches, the dauly calls , the chess daily, the shopping and gossiping together, the never ending discussions about politics and other stuff, sharing details about our childhood memories, talking about our interests etc etc etc..

When he was admitted to the hospital last year, I was the one who attened to him from morening 5 am to midnight. Paid for it. I would daily cook for him, clean his clinic , advice him whenever he needed, always at his call 24/7. I am a decent looking female, very attractive too. I was really really affectionate towrds him, accepted him with all his faults. Respected him, cherished his friendship too. He was the priority in my life. We would talk about life after 70 too..that we should be still connected and all..

I was the first person he called when his dad died, his grandmother died. He confided in me so much. I did more.
But everything changed once he met this girl. I still cant beleive that he actually trapped her. How could he, when he was discussing with me daily about the rape incidents happening around the world and how it disgusts him . How! I cant beleive it he did this with a girl of 23 just for sex? How can my best friend be that cruel? Or did he really love this kid?

Even if he had fallen in love with a much younger girl, he should have told me that he did and stopped all these activitities with me and started with her as the girl too was really involved with him.
I would hav been extremely happy with friendship as I was requesting him for the same.
But he disrespected me, never trusted me and lied to me day and night and blamed me for suspecting me .
I was actually very releived when he stopped having sex with me because I wanted frienship forever. But he lied to me and even told that girl that I was after his life when he was equally or more behind me.
Im feeling so bad. But im not able to hate him. I still yearn for his friendship even from far.
Even a call once in a month is OK with me. Im ready to go to other city if he is ready to unblock me and talk to me once in a while.
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kalpanas103
 
  1  
Reply Wed 13 Mar, 2019 08:05 am
@Dominick23,
I would also like to add here that I really empathise with that girl. She is only 23-24, and sadly was a rape victim when she was 10. So she never believed in marriage or a relationships at all. She told me that she was in rehab for one year after that tragic incident. She is into a lot of smoking and drinking and all the while she was talking to me, she smoked at least 10 packs. I had to forcibly make her stop smoking. She is a very hardworking girl and is the sole breadwinner for her large family. She stays alone here with her sister and she told all this to him assuming him to be an elderly man who would support her but he exploited her vulnerability. Actually, while I write this, Im feeling very annoyed. I spent 6 years with him but why I never realise this? Im still not sure if she is saying all this now that she is angry or he is really such a bad man!!!

She was introduced to him as his patient. He is a dentist. But she said he never gave her any treatment because she was introduced to him by a mutual friend for the purpose of trapping her as the dentist wanted someone young for sex. This mutual friend confessed to this. The girl said he after the first visit to the treatment, he continuously sent her SMS to keep in touch with him and slowly became friends and then went to her house and then had sex with her after making her drink. Later she said she too fell in love with him as he would lecture her about womens empowerment and equality .
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