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Sat 2 Mar, 2019 11:25 am
Widow for 2 yrs after being married for 30 yrs. I met someone I really like and we seemed to hit it off. We have been out together several times, discussed lots of things about each other including my husband and his death. We have been to each others home and spent hours together. One night it just happened, we had sex (I will not deny I wanted it). The next few days I kind of freaked out. I felt like I cheated on my husband and could not understand why I let this happen. I explained to him what I was going through and he gave me the space I needed to come to terms with it. He was very respectful and said it showed a lot about my character. We are still seeing each other, talk and text everyday. My issue is he now seems distant in being intimate with me. It's been a little over a month since this happened, we still kiss, hug and touch one another but he stops when things seem to be going towards us having sex. I am not sure how to talk to him about this and let him know I am now okay with being intimate with him and I ready to move on with a relationship. I would love to hear any advice anyone has?
@Bettle,
Bettle wrote: I am not sure how to talk to him about this and let him know I am now okay with being intimate with him and I ready to move on with a relationship.
two separate things there : sex / relationship
talk to him
initiate sex
___
have you been to a grief counsellor or grief support group?
@ehBeth,
Yes I have been in a grief support group for over a year now.
I guess I should have stated it as: How do I assure him I am ready to move on with our relationship. I know he has had some bad relationships and he is scared of being hurt again too.
You need to tell him the same thing you have stated here in your posts. First time since your husband’s death - mixed feelings and needed time to sort that out. You sound like you have.
Start over and assure him you are able to look at your “ today” now.
@Bettle,
You had to courage to be open with him about how you felt after you all had sex. Now you just need to find the courage to tell you that you are ready to move forward in the relationship. Communication and understanding is key in all relationships. He seems to be and understanding guy. He just needs you to be vocal about what you want now.
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