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Wed 13 Feb, 2019 11:52 am
To make a long story short I cheated on a previous relationship. This caused me to develop a crazy guilty concious. Fast track I'm now married different woman who is amazing and knows all of this.
But I still have feelings of guilt. For silly things like I had found her sister was attractive or having a crush on someone else or what if I do. Or then we got married I was reading her letter to me and the photographer was taking pictures and i noticed she numbered the pages. I thought it was funny but I also thought oh that's something my ex would do. So I was just trying not to have a panic attack and just made it look like it was the letter that did it. So currently that's what I'm trying not to freak out about.
It's basically anything that might hurt her and I feel like I have to tell her or I pretty much start breaking down, I have panic attacks or I completely over focus on it. I'm at the point where I dont know what to do anymore. It's either I suck it up and feel shitty or I tell her to relieve my self. She says she can handle it but I'm not sure for how long. I just want this to stop because I dont know how much more I can handle.
I guess knowing why would be great also.
Are you in counseling? I’d suggest it because it’s not fair to your wife to use her as a sounding board for your anxieties- she’s going to tire of it some day. Besides, do you want to be seen in her eyes as being too fragile to handle issues that may come up between you two?
Your anxieties need to be brought up and talked about. Only then will they lose power. A good therapist can help you do this.
Thank you. I've been thinking about it. Just need to find some one
@Newguy26,
A lot of problems can be solved by forgiving other people for not being perfect and making mistakes. In this case you need to forgive yourself. They call it the "past" because it has "passed". Leave it in the past. It gets further in the past every day.
@Newguy26,
I'm not disagreeing about talking it out. That will defuse it.
Thank you. I definitely need to let it go. I'm just sure how to forgive myself I guess.
@Newguy26,
Weigh the good with the bad.
@Newguy26,
Put what you feel guilty about on a scale of "wrongs" that measures 1-100. Let 1 represent stealing a 1¢ piece of candy and let 100 equal the worst "wrong" you have ever heard of. Compare what you feel guilty about to all the other "wrongs" in this world.
Weigh all the good in yourself against the things you feel guilty about.
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