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Sat 12 Jan, 2019 07:49 am
Hey... to make a very long story short, my partner is a member of aa and n.a. anonymous, he is clean now 3 yrs and has thrown himself into the programme and that's Great, he helps new members ect... there is just one issue I have is that he talks to this girl also a member that he used to sleep with years before we hooked up he can call male members on loud speaker but he won't even call her when his in the house going through his phone I did a time check the other night he was due to go to a meeting he rang her as soon as he got outside the door... the day before they spoke for a half an hour... Is it all in my head or are they having personal meetings?
It may be that this recovery program is bringing them together in intense discussion. Only people in the program can understand this kind of bond.
The issue is that this help ( being a Sponsor) and co- recovery (working The 12 Steps) is done with a SAME sex person who has at least two years recovery. But its not unusual for people to network with each other.
He may have been calling her to see why she missed the meeting.
Of bigger concern here is your checking his phone. Do you go to Alanon (for persons living with those in recovery?)
@PUNKEY,
Hi punkey I appreciate your reply and all valid points... I don't attend alanon... i checked the phone as old habits die hard and i try to refraine but the head runs away...I get that they maybe just networking with each other but just don't get why it's such a big secret with that particular member when he is quite open with conversations with the others all being male.
@Izzyissues,
If he is her sponsor, he should be keeping all communications private.
In any case, it might help you if you go to meetings for family/partners of people in AA.
... and leave his phone/computer/everything alone.
@PUNKEY,
PUNKEY wrote:The issue is that this help ( being a Sponsor) and co- recovery (working The 12 Steps) is done with a SAME sex person
not always the case
very community dependent
I think it was more often the case when only 2 genders were recognized
@ehBeth,
I'm 100% his not her sponsor and I know he has to keep conversations private but does that really apply to all communication... maybe Alanon is something I need to look into. Thank you
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