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Mon 7 Jan, 2019 12:09 pm
I started walking regularly with a friend regularly three times a week, or more.My friend then introduces her friend to join the walk. This third person is now considered a friend. We have coffee after the walks and we take turns to buy coffee . As time passes, I noticed that my friend and I seem to be paying for the coffees regularly while the third person seems to always hang back when it comes to paying. When we meet to start the walk, she would often say she will leave her cash and credit card locked in the car but she does carry a bum bag! Then she would ask “oh is it my turn to pay for the coffee?”. My friend and I would say “ it’s ok we will pay”. So this happens at least once a week..
I always wonder why does she carry a bum bag and not always take her cards and cash ? We know she is not short on cash / money. It’s just a cup of coffee and we would pay for her.
So yesterday while we ordering coffee, she said “oh my cash is locked in the car”. I smiled and said it’s safer to carry her wallet in her bum bag then leave it in the car, it case someone breaks into her BMW. She said “ but it is a safe carpark”...
So what do you folks think about this ? It’s jus a coffee but I wouldn’t expect my friends to pay for my coffee regularly. And that line about it being safer to leave her wallet in her BMW just ... well you know.
@Hwsuccess,
It sounds like the new walking buddy is a mooch.
@Hwsuccess,
Next time as you go up to get coffee say "oh my cash is locked in the car." And if she doesn't pay don't get coffee.
Go out later and get your own. And keep doing it until she finally pays.
Or even better just carry enough to pay for your own coffee. Again say "I left my cash in my car." Oh but a have a couple of dollars just enough to pay for my own coffee, sorry I am unable to cover for you - ideally get your other friend to do similar. Then each buy your own and leave her hanging without coffee.
Problem solved.
@Hwsuccess,
And it sounds like it is - she is taking advantage of you - probably why she can afford her BMW because she makes it a habit of taking advantage of others.
If you like you can also use the direct route - next time you three meet up, just say going forward maybe it is best if we each just pay for own coffees.
@Linkat,
I did do that once - ie said that oh it’s easier if I pay for own coffee .. my friend however payed for the third friend’s coffee...
I believe the best thing forward is just to pay for my own coffees.
Thank you for letting me get this off my chest!
@Hwsuccess,
Hwsuccess wrote:
I did do that once - ie said that oh it’s easier if I pay for own coffee .. my friend however payed for the third friend’s coffee...
That is kind of up to your friend - if she wants to be taken advantage of by the third "friend".
And yes a coffee isn't much - but an extra couple of dollars every day adds up pretty quick.
Before we started out for the walk, I would say “OK - everyone have their water and coffee change?” And wait for a confirmation from her and everyone else.
However, if paying for her coffee continues to not bother your other friend, then say nothing, and do as you suggest and just bring enough to cover your own costs.
Just yesterday a friend was complaining that at his annual holiday potluck for the school staff, the same guy never signs up for anything on the list, but shows up anyway, just to eat - for the past three years! My friend was ready to confront him, but got held back by a colleague with the “but it’s the holidays” excuse. My friend maintains he could have brought water or even a bag of chips. He’s a batchelor and it’s not an economic issue.
It was suggested that the names be already printed on the list and they either cross out their name (to indicate not coming) or write what will be brought for sharing.
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