Possibly HIV infection

I wanted to get some advice about HIV from sex and testing periods.

I am a gay male who has sex with only gay men. I recently went traveling to South East Asia and meet all the below mentioned people there. On the 5th December I returned home.

On October the 10th I had unprotected oral and anal sex. Oral sex was first. The anal sex, he did not penetrate but more rubbing against my anus. But he sure did try to get it in there but after 20-30 seconds I said no we need protection. He really wanted to bareback me but I thought are you mad.

I don't know is status.

The next meeting with a different person was also unprotected oral sex only. That was on the 6th November.

I also don't know his status. He did say he was negative but can't you trust that.

The next person was a different one on the 11th November and again oral sex no protection and I think he again said he was negative but you can't trust them.

The next meeting the was the day after and on the 12th November and again that was unprotected oral. He again said he was negative but you can't trust that.

Then on the 13th November I went for 4th generation HIV test and also a venous sample was sent to the lab. Both came back negative. This was 5 weeks from the 10th October.

So then I met someone else on the 19th November and we had unprotected oral. I really trust this guy after what he has explained to me. He gets checked regularly in his job and he said if he is found positive he will loose it. I know this is stupid trusting someone like this but I do think he is telling the truth.

Then on the 22nd November I met another person. He is someone I am now seeing and no one else.
Again unprotected oral and no anal. I trust this guy as where he is it is very serious if you HIV as there is little support in his country.

Apart from the 10th October where there was some anal play I have not do any more anal sex, and certainly no blow jobs with any of these meets. I would literally suck and they suck me. Then we would wank off onto our bellies and clean up.

The last time I had any fun was on the 1st, 2nd and 4th December but only with the guy I met from the 22nd. We had a break on the 3rd ha ha.

He is so sweet this guy I met, I hope I am negative as my days of casual fun are over he is too good to loose. I could talk about him forever ha ha like love isn't it.

Then I returned home on the 5th december. So then I had a rapid test and venous sample with all of the other sti checks done on the 8th December and that all came back negative. Now this is week 8 from the 10th October and week 4 from the 6th November. So looking at it I think the 8th December check might provide some insight into the meeting from the 10th October and possibly the 6th November.

But it doesn't rule out the other meetings. So on the 21st December I had another test done which was a venous sample but one of those home testing kits where you collect a small pot of blood from your finger and send it to a lab. That came back as negative. On the 21st I also went to my local HIV clinic and had a venous sample drawn as well so just waiting for the results. I suppose it should be the same as the 21st result from the home testing kit but you never know till you get the results back. I understand these kits are being sent out from the same organisation does my venous tests.

Then on the 24th December I was sitting there panicking as per usual and I had two home testing kits I bought a week ago. I did the first test wrong and had to do the second and did that correctly. So that came back negative.

I know it is too early to tell from the December time but surely these negative results will hold me good in favour for the the meetings up to and including the 13th November, which is now 5 weeks and 6 days ago and kind of looking at it as if it is 6 weeks.

I am absolutely beside myself. I have never met this many people in such a short space of time. I must have got carried away with myself. I am never meeting people again and this new guy I am seeing will be protection all the way. Providing I am negative as he might just dump me if I am positive.

I am worried as I keep getting these little rashes and spots. I went out last night and came back to see a small rash on my hand, but now it has gone down this morning. I did put some cream on it last night hydrocortisone. I have this small persistent rash that comes out on one of my shoulders after he shower. But now it is just coming out regardless of the shower. Maybe that is where I burnt myself because one day when I was away I carried on going and before I knew it was really red on my shoulder.

This morning after the shower I looked at my back and a group spots where present in close vicinity to each other. They weren't there before I got into the shower and there weren't there yesterday at all but they seem to look less angry now as the morning has gone by.

I really freaking out as I have so much riding on this. I have this wonderful guy I have met and the possibility of moving to NZ next year. I am so stupid for doing what I did. What possessed me to think I could meet all these people. I must be an idiot.

I know this is a long post but I am so scared. I am going for another test in about two weeks as I have a very expensive medical coming up for NZ and I would like to be sure. If I am positive in two weeks then at least I can cancel it in time.

Anyway I would appreciate your thoughts on my situation. I am learning towards being positive or looking good for being negative. I appreciate I need to wait maybe some more months before I get another test. Maybe I have seroconverted yet I don't know (that's me assuming I am positive). Maybe just posting this helps settle me a little. I am so stupid why did I do this.

Thank you.