My Story with a Coworker

So this is basically me just wanting to get my story out to a few people and put it into words.

To preface, I have been married for 2 years, but been with my wife for 12 years. Met in high school at very young ages obviously.

I lost my virginity to her and have been a very faithful man to her for 11 years of our relationship.

2018 rolled around and I suddenly exuded this insane confidence and also the need for meeting a new woman. I began a new job in Jan of 2018 and I also met a young woman in February at a party that I began a 3 month emotional Snapchat relationship with. We'd talk every single day, send pics every day, and not even always nude. Eventually that came to a halt.

So that entire time, I was working with a decent looking married girl that has 2 young kids. Never liked her because of her chaotic and drama filled attitude. I was also very focused on the Snapchat girl at the time. Well then in May the coworker girl began showing real interest in me. Tons of compliments and seeking reasons to work beside me. I blew them off for the longest time. At some point in the summer I decided to "give her a chance", meaning try to understand her and her craziness.

Ended up going to bars after work a few times. Had fun talks and great times. Nothing too serious.

At some point I decided to make a move on her. I wanted to take her out for a fun time, nothing else. I wanted to impress her essentially. So I asked her "Wanna go on a date with me?" She replied "Yes of course". That Friday I took her to a well known fun brewery. She was just beginning to get into craft beer, something that is a big part of my life. We got to the brewery, had a sparks flying time. Literally sparks flew, and some passion was felt in the air. She put her leg on me as we talked, and on the way back to her car at work we held hands. I hadn't felt that way with someone new in a long time.

A couple days later she then tells me her story with her husband and how she doesn't want to be with him despite getting married just 9 months ago. She then essentially asks me for an affair while we're at a bar. I walk back inside from outside, sit down on a barstool, and she says "Ok well I don't know what's going to happen with us, but I want just 1 kiss".

Well 1 kiss turned into many many more kisses that day. From then on all during August/Sept/Oct we would be touching, making out, rubbing, fingering, sucking, eating, *******. All at work during work. She'd text me asking if I wanted to "run away for a while" late at night. We'd go out, go to parks, go hang out together and be with eachother and show eachother cool things that we didn't know about the city without eachother. We'd get hotel rooms occasionally and pull an "overnight shift". We went to sports games, and all kinds crazy fun things. Still doing lunch dates almost daily.

We'd see eachother every single day, even on weekends, plus let's not forget the texting and Snapchat streak of 91 days.

At some point in the beginning of November she seemed to change a little bit. One thing about me is I'm an EXTREMELY affectionate person. I love giving love. Love giving back rubs, leg rubs, etc. She's not entirely wired that way. I started to notice how I was the one giving more effort from an affection standpoint. It bothered me a little bit. I felt like maybe she was pulling away. Well also during this time period I started having an ED issue. I'm in my 20's. Shouldn't be happening. Yet everything had been 100% fine for 3 months then suddenly my guy wont work. Meanwhile at home my sex life with my wife was nearly non existent from August-October, I was giving my girlfriend all my love instead. So when this ED issue would arise with the girlfriend she would become quite angry. No matter how good I am at eating pussy, she wanted to get me off so badly, yet I couldn't do it. It's been that way for an entire month now, but now it's just with her. At home with my wife now everything seems pretty fine. Part of my anxiety is the fact of having sex at work all the time. It's hard to be relaxed and stay hard when you're having to listen for doors opening all the time. Yet I did it just fine for 3 months.

So anyways, I'll skip forward through the early love phase a little bit to bring us to current time. My girlfriend got pregnant in early October and we honestly don't know who the father would be. She doesn't have sex with her husband all that often, maybe twice a week. She wanted to keep it but ultimately is making the decision of an abortion. She doesn't want to leave her husband and 2 kids and the idea of having my kid could potentially **** up a lot of things. She's been working to keep her family together lately, which also means our texting and Snapchatting has been brought to a snails pace.

I think part of my ED issue began once I realized she was working on her relationship at home and that the idea of her and I actually being together like I wanted was just a far fetched dream. We've talked many times about stopping what we're doing yet once we're alone in a room, something is going to go down sexually between us.

I think I've gotten to the point that we need time apart. I'm taking a bunch of days off coming up soon after Christmas. We won't see eachother very much over the next 3 weeks. This time apart could either level things out between us, or it could cause her to crave me hardcore the entire time. Then again, now I'm the guy who has ED with her and that can't be an attractive thing for a woman to experience. I don't WANT to be done with her and what we have, but maybe a part of me is also hoping this time apart can level things out again and get us to a new direction in our relationship.

My wife is a great woman. Is she perfect? No, but she's pretty damn amazing. I don't regret my relationship with my coworker because it was something I needed to get out of my system. But I'm also an addictive type personality. Once I had her a few times, I began needing her constantly. I became obsessed. But now I'm backing away for the first time just to see what happens.

That's the summary of my story. To be continued...