Emotional Affair

You're a good husband.

Do you think this is at all fair to your “friend”?

You don’t say if she is married or not, but I bet a 29 year old woman with 3 kids is looking for a man who can give her a full relationship. You cannot do this.

So stop using this woman to boost your sagging self esteem. Get some counseling to find out what to do with the second half of your life.

Stop flirting with her. Try flirting and reigniting the passion with your wife. She would likely appreciate it, as she too has aged 30 years since marriage. You love your wife, prove it to her, not this anonymous internet board.

does miss 28 understand your feelings for remaining married to your present squeeze and planned abstinence from physical sex with her? at 28 with three breeds it would seem her goals and yours should be different. how did your wife react to your confession? if you rekindle affair chances of remaining married should be slim. why are you abstaining from porking miss 28? physical or emotional based problems ? obviously she is not a virgin so would be willing. you are a rare guy to avoid the opportunity to mount your AP. very interesting phenomenon.

This is to answer all question to this point.

This is not fair to my friend, however this is her choice not something I am forcing her to do. I have explained I am not leaving my wife, I cannot offer her a future, she continues to be OK and she initiates the flirting. She is not married, she was married bad relationship. She was abused, mentally, physically, etc. The 28 year old is aware I do not want to divorce she knows I love my wife and kids. I am not looking to start over or to be anyone step daddy or anyone sugar daddy.

She is independent has her own home, car, career, she is outgoing and is free spirited. She has made it clear that she is not looking for a relationship she is not looking for a young guy that wants to call, text and demands her attention. She has not time to dedicate to a formal relationship. I asked her what she wants with a guy that cannot offer her a long term relationship. She indicated she does not want a relationship, she wants someone to talk to , someone to listen, someone to let off steam (sex) without worrying about one night stand, STD or a man calling, texting and wanting time that she cannot afford at this time. Her time is for her children, parents, career.

My wife and I have a good relationship we communicate, we joke, laugh and have a great sex life. This is not really about my wife. I am struggling with this because I think it is a 50 year old midlife crisis. I am in counseling, trying to work this out. You are correct this is a great self-esteem ego boost I cannot explain it but it feels good.

As I indicated I told my wife I am accepting of punishment for my actions and I am up for whatever challenge I need to make to get back in the straight and narrow. When I told my wife she is hurt, confused but thankful I told her and that nothing like SEX has not happened. I told her I will do whatever it takes to fix things if she wants I will look for another job, I will ask for a transfer or we can move. She said NO to all of my suggestions. She says it could happen with anyone or at any job. She is trying to figure out what she wants asked me to stop.

I am holding back from physical (sex) because I feel once I do that it will be harder to recover from that. I do not want sex to take over emotions or cloud judgment more than it is. Believe me I want to have sex with her but I am worried that it will screw things up more.

As I indicated I love my wife I do not want to end in a divorce but I also do not want to stop.

Please know that this gal has mastered the art of seduction - as a Siren. (Look it up)

She says she wants nothing from a relationship, but don’t bet on it. Eventually, it will be money.

You probably aren’t her first seduction.

Please be careful. There’s no fool like an old fool.