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Thu 13 Dec, 2018 08:31 am
I was wondering if I could get an analysis of the following poem:
A light seen suddenly in the storm, snow
Coming from all sides, like flakes
Of-sleep, and myself
On the road to the dark barn
Halfway there, a black dog near me
Light on the wooden rail,
Someone I knew and loved.
As we hear the dates of his marriage
And the years he moved
A wreath of dark fir and shiny laurel
Slips off the coffin
A cathedral: I see
Starving men, weakened, leaning
On their knees. But the bells ring anyway.
Sending out over the planted fields
A vegetation, sound waves with long leaves
There is a wound on the trunk,
Where the branch was torn off
A wing comes out of it,
Rising, swelling
Swirling over everything alive
thank you!
@k-arinasen,
Sorry But for me a stream consciousness like this is not 'poetry'
....you're welcome!
@k-arinasen,
Visual, physically softly sensory, personal, emotionally revealing,, suddenly sad with finality, heart-numbingly ............................comparative, yet ending with spirited hope.
@Downthumb
I thought "softly sensory" and "suddenly sad" was pretty poetic.
I liked your poem and it’s a nice tribute to someone who obviously meant something to you - father or grandfather?
Could somebody explain to me why the reporting of a stream of ideas, without any rhythmic or metaphorical nuance, divided by seemingly arbitrary spacings, constitutes 'poetry' ?
There is nothing 'wrong' with the cliche'd ideas expressed, but I I suggest to call it 'poetry' is a bit of an insult to the labour of poets who might sweat over every word they choose.
@fresco,
Because it is written from a broken heart.
@Ponderer,
Debatable as a conclusion.
Nonsensical as a definition.
IMO, 'poetry' involves the
crafting of semantic, graphemic and rhythmic aspects of language into a piece which transcends the mere reporting of ideas, or the expressing of emotion, the very vocalization of which gives pleasure to the reader.
T'was once in debate so zoetic
And bursting with concepts noetic
That I couldn't quibble
Without foam and dribble
That what I had wrote was very it
@laughoutlood,
Nice one despite scanning problem with last line!
@laughoutlood,
How about...
And picking the words was the trick.
It was always very prophetic.