Can somebody help me?

Well, at least you seem to be getting better. (At least your are saying you are a troll instead of a plant.) I started to answer the last question in one of your posts (What am I?) with "A writer." I think I may have seen a hint about your self-described confusion when you wrote "I don't know what to do." Maybe that is the solution. If you don't have something to concentrate on, your mind will randomly pick subjects to think about. Look around. See what people are doing. See what needs to be done. Build a model car.
Set up an aquarium. Plant some seeds and grow some flowers. By some paint and a canvas. Your art might be as expressive as your writing.
Personally, I wouldn't describe you as a troll. I think a troll is someone who writes with the intention of causing trouble. I think you write to be read. You write to express yourself. There is no rule or law against that. If it makes you happy, why stop?

The world needs Trolls. If you are going to be a troll, be happy about it and do it well.

The purpose of a troll is to break up complacency in polite society. Most people tend to develop a shared world view with like-minded people without ever questioning their own beliefs or seeing things from other perspectives. In communities (including online communities) this leads to group think, a large number of people all reinforcing shared beliefs without any questioning or critical thought.

In a society, group think leads to injustice and thus trolls are at the center of any social movement. It was the trolls who questioned why women weren't allowed to vote. Alice Paul (one of my troll heroes) shamed President Wilson into supporting suffrage... she wasn't polite, she wasn't nice, she made Wilson look like a mean fool. The battle for LGBT rights was led by trolls.. even the American Revolution was led by trolls (i.e. Thomas Paine).

As a troll you should be asking the questions that no one wants asked. You should be pointing out contradictions in people's beliefs (particularly when these people have social status). You should be advocating for unpopular points of view. These are necessary functions; society needs trolls who do these things.

Responsible trolling isn't nasty in a personal way. It isn't attacking people out of spite, or harassing people. Responsible trolling makes people uncomfortable... but it is the ideas that should be uncomfortable, not attacks.

If you are going to be a troll... if the group think, lemming like, beliefs of a dominant group piss you off... be responsible troll. Challenge their ideas, push back on their narratives, question their beliefs.

If you can do all of that without asinine personal attacks, your trolling will make the community more diverse, and interesting.

I'm addicted to marijuana. Its been a week since I toked. Rough man. No support. Withdrawal is mostly in my head. I had a good thing going and now I'm nothing. I just had to let it out. My self esteem is at an all time low. I can't smoke again. I must not let temptation corral my conscience. Goodbye. Sobriety forever.

I hope you are able to find some support.