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End of affair?

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Heartbrokengirl
 
Reply Thu 4 Oct, 2018 09:19 am
I knew it was wrong but you can’t help you feel?
Our relationship started as a friendship over ten years ago. Through life’s turmoils we talked more and grew more attached.
I knew he was married (arranged) and wasn’t happy at home but had two teenage children (now 18 and 21) who he absolutely loves!
We started a physical affair around 4 years ago and we have both fallen madly in love. He promised to leave his wife for me today and would tell his children but had bottled it at the 11th hour.
I’m in turmoil as to what to do. We had given a deadline and I don’t want to go back on this but I honestly truly love this man from the bottom of my heart. He is my soulmate.
He is Indian and I know it must be the hardest thing to do and risk being outed by family and friends but we had made so many plans together.
I am totally and utterly heartbroken....what can I do? He is also my very best friend.
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Type: Question • Score: 1 • Views: 452 • Replies: 3
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ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 4 Oct, 2018 11:47 am
@Heartbrokengirl,
Heartbrokengirl wrote:
you can’t help you feel?


is that a question?


I think you may not be able to help how you feel but you can definitely make decisions about your actions following on those feelings.

You chose to have an affair with someone who is not available to you. You knew that when you went into the relationship. Nothing tricky or complicated about that.

What have you been doing with yourself outside of the affair? did your other friendships/relationships continue? did you stay focused on your work/education?

Face the rest of your life. You may decide to continue with the affair, but please don't let it stop you from living life. Travel, learn, go out with friends.
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ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 4 Oct, 2018 11:49 am
@Heartbrokengirl,
and ... you've been in the relationship for a decade

you're not a girl

please accept that you're a grown woman - don't call yourself a child

you are a grown-up with a grown-up's life
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Thu 4 Oct, 2018 08:58 pm
Children that age can take the news that their father is leaving a loveless marriage. So don’t accept that excuse.

All these years they have witnesses a bad marriage ( according to him) That did more damage than anything else.

There is another reason why he has made you the mistress all these years. Demand honesty.
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