8
   

Flooring in home, does CPS need to be called

 
 
camlok
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Aug, 2018 01:17 pm
@ch18ch18,
Quote:
It started with the wood flooring in the home buckling.


Sounds like moisture issues. Does the home have a crawl space or a full/partial basement? If the former, is there a moisture barrier over the earth?

If a full/partial basement, does the basement also have moisture problems?
0 Replies
 
ch18ch18
 
  2  
Reply Thu 30 Aug, 2018 02:04 pm
@neptuneblue,
@neptuneblue

My step daughter's mother has let a house rot from underneath her feet, literally. This same woman refused our help with a flea issue a few weeks ago, instead denying she has them. There is cat piss on my step daughter's bed regularly. My step daughter comes home talking about how hot it is in her mother's home. Again, she won't call the landlord to have the AC fixed. My step daughter comes home and complains about the foul animal smell and the filth at her mother's house.

These aren't issues that have risen in the last month, we are going on 3 1/2 years. She, and her current husband, both have full time jobs. She gets child support from not 1 but 2 ex-husbands. We are dealing with grown adults (40 yrs. old), being irresponsible and putting children in danger to the point where they are getting hurt in their own home. They have no intention of fixing the problems. My husband and I shouldn't even be in a position to have to debate whether to call CPS.

I love my step daughter as though she was mine. So if me calling CPS b/c of the dangers my step daughter is being exposed to in her mother's home makes me 'a step mom over stepping boundaries to cause problems'....guilty as charged.
camlok
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Aug, 2018 02:42 pm
@ch18ch18,
Are you more concerned about fighting with/badmouthing this lady or getting help for the children?

Call CPS, that is what their job is.
0 Replies
 
blatham
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Aug, 2018 02:48 pm
I assume you are in the US. You can visit the CPS website for your state (or province, if in Canada) and learn more about precisely what services they offer to help you in your particular situation. But it would be simpler if you called them and talked to someone. As I suggested before, you can do this anonymously if you're more comfortable doing that. If, as ehBeth suggests, some level of evidence beyond the child's accounts might be needed for CPS to act, then you can find out what those evidences would be.

The CPS aren't Nazis. They are set up to protect children in situations where children are abused or are put at health or other risk. I understand concerns about friction with the child's mother but obviously such concerns ought to limit you only so much.
0 Replies
 
neptuneblue
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Aug, 2018 04:24 pm
@ch18ch18,
I don't think you "get" how serious calling CPS is. What you're describing isn't abusive. It's not good, but it isn't abusive in any way. The children aren't happy, that's not a crime. There are other ways to help the problem.

A change of venue in custody could happen. It takes filing a petition to modify custody only as it pertains to the physical living arrangements for the child. It doesn't take a lawyer to file. But after three years, you'd be hard pressed to find a Judge who would agree the child is in danger to remove her from her mother's care.

A GAL can determine the best interests of the child. An independent, uninvolved party can make home visits and assess living conditions then report those findings to the Judge. The GAL also inspects your living conditions, as well as interview the child and all parents/step parents/adults living in the home. This report is filed along with the petition to modify custody.

You can make an anonymous tip to the city's health and safety department, who would come to inspect the premises. If code violations are found, they'd cite the owner and make sure the violations were corrected. Depending on the severity, the house could be condemned and an eviction would take place.

You can contact the land owner directly, and state the rent will be placed in escrow until certain issues regarding the property are fixed. Again, that requires a filing through the Court system to enforce the non payment of rental as legal construct, not inability to pay.

The issue is, all because you don't agree how the child is being raised doesn't mean the mother is doing something illegal. Involving CPS only sets up a very lengthy investigation, and there's no guarantees anything would change.

Again, involving CPS is SERIOUS. It's not meant to be a catch all for divorced parents to get back at each other. Use the services only if NEEDED. What you're describing is a pain, but not to the point involving a legal entity that has the authority to place the child into foster care until a petition for change of custody has taken place.
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Aug, 2018 05:21 pm
@neptuneblue,
neptuneblue wrote:
Again, involving CPS is SERIOUS. It's not meant to be a catch all for divorced parents to get back at each other. Use the services only if NEEDED. What you're describing is a pain, but not to the point involving a legal entity that has the authority to place the child into foster care until a petition for change of custody has taken place.


it is a bit frightening how often kids end up in foster care in situations like this - the other parent is available/interested/willing and CPS says they've got to investigate things first - while the kids are in foster care. Brutal.

I'd eliminate every other option before contacting CPS.
camlok
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Aug, 2018 05:22 pm
@ehBeth,
Quote:
I'd eliminate every other option before contacting CPS.


So kids can die?
ehBeth
 
  2  
Reply Thu 30 Aug, 2018 05:29 pm
@camlok,
If there was a threat of immiment death I'd call the police.

Three+ years of this? there are other options to look into before considering CPS.
camlok
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Aug, 2018 05:46 pm
@ehBeth,
Neither you nor anyone else knows what is imminent. Three plus years is already much too long to have waited.
0 Replies
 
Sturgis
 
  1  
Reply Thu 30 Aug, 2018 11:02 pm
@ehBeth,
From what can be gathered in the OP's writings, talking has not worked. Talking to the mother about fleas and other problems has resulted in denials. If the woman won't allow any of the fathers in, CPS may be the best way. Brutal? Perhaps (it is not always hellish nightmare). Sometimes a person just needs to step forward and take a corrective measure. Taking no action will likely only lead to more harm and possibly a fatality.
0 Replies
 
LauraJane
 
  2  
Reply Thu 27 Sep, 2018 02:48 pm
@ch18ch18,
Intentionally involving CPS behind someone's back for any reason is taking a huge risk with any children involved not to mention they will reek havoc in your life for 8-12 months once they get the lead. Anybody who calls authorities on another person is simply playing with fire and throwing the children into the pot. Good luck
0 Replies
 
PastCPSworker
 
  0  
Reply Sat 23 Mar, 2019 12:16 am
@ch18ch18,
If your husband has 50/50 custody, it would just be better for your step-daughter for your husband to have his daughter live with him. The mother wouldn't be able to fight it, since the custody is 50/50. Calling CPS without Father trying to do something active to protect his own child when he has 50/50 would look neglectful on his part as well. I would still suggest calling for the other children in the home. When CPS is called they look at all of the parents of the children. By calling, it doesn't automatically mean that CPS will deem your husband appropriate and have his daughter live with him. If he already has joint custody of her, he should just have her live with him and tell the Mother she cannot return back to the house until she fixes and cleans her place.
jespah
 
  3  
Reply Sat 23 Mar, 2019 05:13 am
@PastCPSworker,
I know the dates are in really tiny print - but this thread is a good year old.
0 Replies
 
 

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