Discarded

I was having an affair with a married man who is 15 years older than me . He is 63 and serial adulterer. We would meet once a week every week for 18 months and you tell me love me and he would tell me how much you missed me when we were apart . The only way we communicate was through email. He was married once before and he walked in on his wife cheating on him 30 years ago . He remarried and was married for 20 years . When we will get to gather all you do is talk about himself he would never ask me questions about me and he would tell me that all the women at his liked him and he would tell me about other women but he had crushes on on how they had crushes on him to . His wife served him with divorce papers the end of June 2018 . He told me the first week of July that he met a woman at the gym who was 68 years old and that he was going to pursue that relationship . He said that what I was giving him wasn’t going to sustain him which was just sex . He said that we couldn’t continue as sexual relationship but he wanted to meet me the following week for lunch because he said that he really liked me and he felt like that we could still be friends . I was totally crushed and devastated and ended up on the psychiatric ward at the hospital in my town. I sent him three emails telling him how devastated I was and he never responded with I’m sorry I love you I wish that this wasn’t happening he would just say I’m sorry that you’re having hard time the last email that I sent him I told him that once I was able to pull myself together and be OK that I would contact him on maybe we could be friends and he said ok. I sent him one last email and told him that I was feeling better and he said he was glad I was feeling better. How can I be discarded so easily how could you just let me go so fast I was totally in love with this guy and I thought that you love me too but he drop me So fast how can I be discarded so easily how could you just let me go so fast I was totally in love with this guy and I thought that you love me too but he drop me so easily . I want to hear from him I want him to write me and tell me that he loves me and that he misses me but I guess I’m not ever going to hear from him again. Can someone explain to me why this is happening why did he just let me go so fast to be said that he loves me and that he missed me was all that lies was the relationship just sex? I’m so hurt and I’m so devastated I just wanna know what’s going on in his mind. Why does he still want to be my friend I don’t get it?