lost on a long trip

First post, I apologize up front if I am too long or too short in my explanation of the issue.
I was married 24 hours after I turned 21 years old, I did not want to get married this young but I did love her and she had laid down the "gauntlet" so to say. I'll start off with saying that I did not understand why she wanted so desperately to marry me until many years later and also why on earth she stayed with me afterwards. Our first 2 years together had to have been horrible for her , I only wanted to hang out with my friends and have a good time. She only wanted to be with me but I didn't want to associate her and my friends together. I tried, but it was always awkward when she was around them and there was no love lost between her and them. In short, that life has long been lost and she won out that battle. I thought to myself that I had made a commitment and I would see it through, I had taken a solemn vow and only death would end this marriage. Some years later she developed a drinking problem. I don't mean just a little one either, she was a registered nurse and she had to take shots at work to even be able to function properly. I will say that if you are not familiar with alcoholism then I already know you will not understand. I came from a family where I grew up with an abusive alcoholic father who beat my mother constantly and had his priorities all kinds of in the wrong places but nonetheless he DID actually care for us he was just dealing with his own demons. So when my wife became one needless to say I didn't take it very well. I tried everything within my power as a mortal man to make her stop but I was powerless when it came to this liquids sway over her. Eventually she hit rock bottom, and sought help for her struggle, she took a leave of absence from her job and has been sober every sense. During her leave she ended up losing her nursing license and has not returned to that field which was a devastating blow to her because she truly did love her job and loved to care for people. She has remained unemployed every since and has not sought a new job. This has put a real stress on me as the sole provider for a family of 6, it has now been almost four years since has worked at any job. During the time she was in rehab and now, she also developed a mental disorder, she was highly suspect of my every move. I would have to take pictures of where I was at and send them to her to prove my locations. Every single move I would make right down to looking at my watch to check the time or even looking around the room at one of my children was seen as a communication either about her or to another woman that I was cheating on her with. Eventually this too became an outreach for help and after almost 2 years of dealing with it she was placed on the correct combination of psychiatric drugs and she is perfectly normal again. Still no job though. My wife's parents live in a coastal area and she goes down to take the kids to see them a couple of times a year and leaves me behind to remain at work, I have not a had a vacation in 3 years now and I am starting to feel resentment towards her. I have known for quite some time now exactly why she was so desperate to marry at a young age. She was sexually abused by her father for most of her life up until the time we started dating. My wife has talked at great length about this with her doctor and eventually with her father and has come to a kind of peace within herself about it. She still struggles with it till this very day but has learned a coping mechanism do deal with it in her own way. I have had a lot of struggles within this marriage and now at the age of 46 I am feeling like life has passed my by. I myself have no lust for life anymore and only exist to provide. I do not take any pleasure in life nor do any of the things that used to matter to me matter anymore. I can honestly say that this is not a cry for pity but just wanting to know if anyone has been down a similar road and have come back from it? Is there some holy grail I can drink from its chalice and renew this life? Or is this truly the end?