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Tue 31 Jul, 2018 12:30 pm
My husband passed away almost 7 years ago. His only sibling left is an estranged sister and a stepsister. Long story short is that I got really close with his stepsister her during his illness and passing. After he passed, I flew to her home in Florida to see her and was there for some of her grown kids events (like birth of a child, etc.). On her 60th bday, I also took her away for 2 days near her home and spent money and my time (I work full time, she does not).
Her husband got me involved with a pyramid scheme, except I had no way of knowing, resulting in tremendous loss of my money only a year after my husband died. I have 2 kids to support so this has really hurt. He and his family also lost most of their money so it was hard for me to really be "mad". In any event, last summer was my 60th bday. My kids gave me a surprise party and while she and her H showed up, she thought she was going away with me and my sisters for my bday gift. My sisters gave me a camera for a trip I took with my kids instead. So then she said she'd still take me away to NYC to see a show for a few days. BUT it never happened. I felt awkward bring it up but when I did she would avoid the subject.
Now it's a year later - she has just filed for divorce from her husband of 40 years saying she hasn't loved him in a while and I recognize that her funds may be limited (she only works part time now) but she has lived very well for the last 20 years. In any event, I feel really hurt. If she wasn't able to fulfill her promise to me, she could at least visit me and we could go out for some time together for a nice dinner or something or send a gift card!
Am I being too selfish? I just feel pushed aside. To ignore her promise feels really crappy. And she invited a niece to visit her for a week - she has time for her and she kept on texting me, at least 3 times, that they were having a great time!!! WTF?
@familyissue400,
Let it go.
Set aside your feelings for now, she is in the midst of a divorce. Even though there were troubles in her marriage she had stayed and now has to face the next part of life without that guaranteed support. Think back to his hard it was for you when your husband died. Time will hopefully keep your friendship in tact and you'll have visits again with each other. She is still texting, so, she hasn't abandoned you. If you are able, offer to visit her for a few days or invite her to come by for a few days. For now, put the trip offer aside.
@Sturgis,
I get what you are saying but was has been her excuse since last year? She only decided to file for divorce in the last month and why would she text me 3 times that she was having a "great time" with our niece???
@familyissue400,
familyissue400 wrote:why would she text me 3 times that she was having a "great time" with our niece???
why not?
she apparently thinks you're some level of friend
__
if her having a great time is a problem for you, you're not much of a friend. let her know you don't want to maintain contact
@familyissue400,
Perhaps some financial word arose at home and she was too embarrassed to say those words. Don't keep thinking about it, it won't help.
As to the texts, maybe it was her way to say that she loves having some company, because it's a good distraction from the divorce.
@familyissue400,
familyissue400 wrote: I felt awkward bring it up
yeah
that would be awkward and inappropriate
You think she owes you a gift and should visit you at your home.
After being unhappy in her marriage, she is going thru a divorce and commented about an enjoyable visit from someone who came to visit her.
You can figure this out.
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