Should I Be Worried

Well, I am new to this site so it'll be interesting to see how this all works. I I am married now, but was divorced and single for approximately 10 years. My first marriage lasted 13 years. I've been with my current husband for almost 3 years, married for one. I am approximately 7 years older than he is.

When my husband and I first met, of course the fires were raging. We had a wonderful sex life, and that lasted for a good year, maybe a little longer. Approximately 1 year ago we left my home state to move to his home state. Prior to doing that, I had sold my house in my home state and we moved into a two-bedroom apartment. At the time, my kids who were in college would stay with us periodically. We were in the apartment for approximately 9 months. I noticed a change in our sex life while in the apartment, but since moving to our new home, it has changed immensely. Now, part of that was due to the fact that I suffered a bad injury that required two surgeries and approximately 12 weeks of recuperation. During this time he had to help me a lot, including getting me to the bathroom and showering. I feel like that changed how he looked at me. Ever since then I don't feel the passion from him.

Prior to meeting my husband, I dated a few individuals. They shared my passion and enjoyment of sex, and I had great sex with these people. Like I said, when I first met my husband it was that way as well. Now sex consists of him telling me he's horny, me following him to the room and taking my clothes off. He lays there waiting for me to give him a blow job. Sorry if I'm getting too graphic here. He barely touches me while I'm doing that, and most of the time I get on top and he lays there with his eyes closed. He doesn't say anything, I try to engage in some sexual talk, but he really doesn't respond. So sometimes I orgasm, sometimes I don't but I might fake it. Then it's over. I think the last time we had sex was probably 6 weeks ago. We averaged now maybe once a month, if that.

We've had discussions over the past year about the fact that we don't connect as much as we used to, things get better for a few weeks and then they get back to where they are now. I guess I'm tired of having the talk, and I feel some patterns from my first marriage or starting to rear their ugly head into this marriage. I love my husband, but I just don't feel the connection that I once did.

A former boyfriend has reached out to me recently to let me know he's moving and he's expressed his interest in seeing me again. Just talking to him I get that feeling, that passion in my gut. Of course that could be the thrill of having or knowing that you can't have something. I would never cheat on my husband, I could not do that to him. But I will tell you the fact that a man is expressing a desire for me, it is a big turn-on.

I worry because I do know that my husband watches porn occasionally. A few months back I suspected that something was up and I confronted him. He was embarrassed. I'm certain I went about it the wrong way, but I think he stopped watching it for a while. But then it was evident to me when he started spending longer in the bathroom that he's watching it. And, I know when he goes out of town for work that he watches it too. I told him initially that it hurt me because we so rarely have intimate relations that he would spend the time to get his satisfaction watching porn knowing full well I was here ready and willing to be with him at the drop of a hat. It still bothers me, although I've read that it's very normal for men to watch it and it does not mean anything, and that I shouldn't feel threatened by it. But I do. He does tell me that he loves me and I do believe him. But I just have to figure out a way to get that connection back with him because like I said, I am a very passionate, sexual person normally and I'm not the kind of person that can live without some level of passion in their marriage.