I am lost.

have some stupid mistakes in my life and I
am paying heavily for this Episode. #1
october 29,2014 I had protected vaginal sex
with a female csw.I also french kissed
her.Later found the girl HIV +.After 5 weeks I
experienced severe flue type illness.Swollen
lymph nodes under jaw and neck,loose
stool,hedeach,severe muscle and joint
pain,rash on both arm. I have tested after 3
months with 3rd generation rapid test,after 5
months with 3rd generation elisa, after 6.5
months with 3rd generation rapid test.All are
negative.#Episode 2 November 17 2015 I
was with a female csw..We were fully
naked.The girl offered me to have
unprotected sex with her.As far as I can
recall I didn't penetrate the girl but my penis
came close to her vagina.Now my mind says
if I penetrated the girl without my knowing
though I didn't feel anything. Episode 3# July
16 2017 I had protected oral and protected
vaginal sex with a female csw.Dont know
why? Vaginal part only lasted 10-15
seconds.The girl seemed a consistent
condom user.No real symptom aftee 1-4
weeks. Episode 4 # October 17 2017 I had
protected vaginal sex with a csw.She offered
me to have sex without a condom for extra
charge.But she assured me she gets tested
every month. Now you are thinking whats the
real problemActually Im experiencing the
symptom of overt aids.Lose of appetite,Loosing
weight,fatigue, dizziness ,swollen lymph
nodes,loose stool,stomach upset,nail
fungus,clubbing nail and slight dementia are
making my life hell. I
dont know what to do? I cry and pray to
God.Ive ruined my life.I haven't tested after 2nd,3rd and 4th exposure.