Tue 10 Jul, 2018 12:53 am
we had been dating for 5 months. He facetimed my mom for permission (yes, im old fashioned and still believe in that) he cried out of emotion and so did my mom. We have been friends for 2 years, we know each other so so well. He loved me so much, from the beginning of the relationship. I slowly caught up to him in feelings. I fell hard. I was so in love and so was he. We thought of our life together so much and felt so real, we thought about how many kids we were going to have and our beautiful home. He always had trust issues with me deep insecurities but I have never given him one good reason to not trust me. I'm so loyal and would never dream of hurting him. HE on the other hand has proven other wise, and yet I would always accept his apology and everything else he had to say and fall back into his arms. I am on vacation with my family, he couldn't come because of work. Im on vacation for a total of 1 month and a half. We texted everyday facetimed almost every night and were still in complete love. Still talking about kids and marriage. He had a dream that he was holding our baby, which I ranted to my mom about and she thought it was the most beautiful dream. 2 or so days after this dream I come to find out that he had been dirty messaging a girl he had previously hooked up with. more than once. She has a boyfriend too. When I say dirty I mean bottom of the sloppy joes over-boiled pot, dirty. I saw and read the whole conversation. She told him that they don't have to continue if he doesn't want to. To which he replied I do want to continue again and again. So they continued. This was all happening during the 3rd week that I was gone, and they had this conversation after his baby dream after all of this and during our lovey dovey texts. So she went on to ask about my where abouts and he said that I was gone and wont be back until mid august, that he is "solo dolo." They talked about where they would do it when they would do it, sent pictures along with the most unworldly of texts, mainly from his disgusting pig-brain. They never actually hooked up. Mainly because she could never get away from her boyfriend or was too busy, but he was feigning for it at every opportunity every minute every hour. During work breaks, 15s or 30s, in his car in her car anywhere and everywhere. The morning I found out his mom called and told me how much she loves me and how incredibly angry she is at her son. She too wanted us to get married and have babies. She loves me soooooo deeply. Along with the rest of his family, which I have spent a lot of time with both with him and without him and just the family. She cursed out her son, and want me to forgive him even though she knows how bad he fucked up and how much it hurts. SHe understood completely though, if I broke things off, but asked me to think about it. Which I did. and I it broke off. I'm having a hard time letting him go because I still love him and am deeply saddened by the fact that he would give into temptation so easily. I wish I could forget about this and love him and be okay. I know he deeply regrets it and still loves me with all of his heart. Why would he do this? please if any one can sense any kind of logic, please! help me understand his behavior. Help me see past this and ration with him.
You're getting a ton of pressure to go back to him.
Where the hell is HIS pressure to not cheat again?
You do not have to continue with any relationships that you don't want to continue with, regardless of what anyone else says.
Why would he do this?
Because he’s self-centered, impulsive, and his “motherGF” is out of town.
How old is this dude? He lacks self control and maturity.
All this baby talk is manipulation. Men empower themselves by talking about getting a girl pregnant. Macho man stuff. Stop that talk with him.
He’s revealing his true self while you are not there to keep him in line. Be sure to take notice of how he acts when your back is turned.
He’s 25. Yeah, i think you’re right. He lacks self control and maturity which sadly at his age idk if he will ever gain or learn.
Wow. Never thought of that. Using it as manipulation. I’m sure you’re right about that too. I just noticed that whenever we argued about some bullshit he did, i was always the one that ended up apologizing. I don’t even remember what i was apologizing for... he always made me feel guilty for calling him out and telling him all his truths he couldn’t handle.
Yeah. I def kept him in line. From drugs, bad friends, bad choices and bad living situation. Helped him get a car, a job and put his life together.
It sounds like you have your act together, and it seems he wants a mommy/whipping boy that will point him the right direction but if he fouls up refuses to take responsibility. Sounds like my first husband, eventually even my Dad said I babied him until I had an actual baby to care for and it's tough to deal with a 28 year old baby.
If you truly love someone and he/she cheated on you then don't try to please them shake it off and live happily and give some time to yourself.
"Why would he do this?"
He is male. MOST of them do it. I would not have put it past my late husband, and he and I had a near perfect relationship. This is the reason I left my other relationships. They cheated.