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Mon 25 Jun, 2018 01:17 pm
I'm not sure what to do. I have always been with men. I've kissed girls in the past which didn't go any further as I just feared being judged.
I'm now married with children. I adore my husband but I have recently gotten close to a female friend who is also married with children. I was crushing on her but I sensed a connection. During a night out we ended up kissing, just full on kissing, feeling all of each other. We wanted to go further but had to stop. Now, I just can't stop thinking about her. I feel I can't live without her. It's crazy! I just can't cope with the guilt. I cry because I don't understand what's going on as I have been happy with my husband. I thought he was the one but I can't stop thinking about her. Plus it has been kind if a shock to feel this way about another woman.
I really don't know what to do.
@Ema79,
What would you do if this was a man you were having the same feelings for?
@engineer,
I'd be upset. I hating the guilt. I'm trying to move forward as I don't want to hurt anyone but she has the same feelings towards me. I didn't want to lose her as a friend. She's the one friend I've trusted the most.
@engineer,
Sorry, I read it wrong. I was thinking how I'd feel if it was husband. I wouldn't pursue knowing I could hurt a lot of people. I just love the person she is. But Me and husband have a great circle of friends and family. I'd lose a lot. I would hurt a lot of people.
@Ema79,
If you wouldn't cheat on your husband with another man with whom you felt a great connection and couldn't get out of your mind, you probably shouldn't do it with a woman either. Unless your husband is a beard and you feel no sexual attraction to him, it's the same situation.
@engineer,
That's true. I was happy and things were good. I've just developed these new feelings that I've never felt before. I don't want end things and lose a good man. Maybe it's infatuation or lust? I can't be in love with another woman can I?
It doesn't much matter whether it's a male or female you're attracted to.
Sort out your marriage. Talk to your husband and either fix it* or end it. Hanging in limbo isn't fair to either of you. Talk to your husband. He needs to know that things aren't in a good place between the two of you.
You may not need to tell him that you are sexually attracted to someone else, but he does need to know that the marriage is no longer enough for you. Consider counselling - alone and as a couple.
* fixing it could include things like opening it up for both of you to have other sexual relationships but maintaining your marriage as the primary partnership
__
Talk to your husband.
@ehBeth,
Not this fast? I'm wondering if it's just exciting and new. I'm infatuated as it's only been a few weeks since we kissed...
@Ema79,
How long did it take for you to know it was more than infatuation with your husband or any other romantic partner you've had? it doesn't take long (in my experience)
@ehBeth,
I guess pretty quickly. I'm caring about this person on a deeper level. I really care about her happiness. I guess I will let her go as I don't think she wants to break up her family home.
I guess I am attracted to women too. I thought it was about the sex part but it's more than that for me.
Thank you for your advice.
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