What made ME smile today

I was going to post this in that happy-sunshine thread, but decided it deserves it's own post.

Last night was pretty funny. Me and my roomate are friends with some of the promo girls for a major beer company, and they're just big booze-hounds.

Anyway, last night they put together a jello-wrestling tournament at a bar, winner gets a trip for 2 to Aruba. Chicks only, volunteers from the bar. So that was high comedy, watching these chicks wrestling around, asscracks sticking out. One of the smallest girls won, she was out for blood. While watching, I told some dude about 6'7, twice my size, to get the f$%k off of me, he apparently thought it was cool to use me as an armrest. He told me to chill out, then walked away...pu$$y. Eh, I still apologized to him after.

Then after that was all said and done, one of the Miller girls, who's petite, hot, but from da' hood and a little "rough around the edges", gets into a fight with two other girls. And she's not f'n around...she carries a knife and goes out with a Hell's Angel. Post fight complete with the necessary head shaking and "YOU DON'T FVCK WITH ME!" type of thing. This is a chick that sweetly kisses you on the cheek every time she sees you, then can break into a random rant cursing and flinging the N word around. Good stuff.

(I think I need to try a girlfriend like this...just picture it now: I'm at my cousin's wedding, and my aunt starts dancing with me....my sweet-as-pie girlfriend rushes up and shanks my aunt).

Walking out of that bar en route to another, and there's a Store 24 next door. It's closed. This drunk dude walking by screams "I thought it's Store TWENTY-FOUR!!!" and punches a store-front window...which shatters and sets the alarm off. He keeps walking, unphased by his actions. Another dude walking the other way calmly reaches in and grabs a muffin, and keeps going with his new snack.

I've never thought vandalism could be so funny.