I am in love with a man but can't tell him, we are both married.

Hi...

I have been with my husband for 12 years and married for 2. It has never been an easy relationship and really I should never have got married. He had/has an addiction to gambling and is always taking out loans and extra finance behind my back. Thankfully I have kept all our finances seperate and the house was in my name. He also works terrible hours like 70-80 a week at times. Over time this has worn down on me mentally and I have suffered with depression, had counselling and taken anti depressants. Not just his fault I had issues of my own self esteem etc. However I was starting to come out the other side of all this when I had a dream that a colleague I worked with kept on telling me that he loved me. When I woke up it made me see him in a different light, i have always found him attractive but he is 12 years older than me and married so never thought anything of it. However, that week there was a night out and sure enough after a few drinks he told me several times how amazing I was and he loved me. As you can imagine I found this very odd! I remember all of the night and although I had been drinking I was fully aware of what i was doing. However I had a mental block and found myself in the most intense embrace I have ever felt with this man, it was just a hug but the electricity was just insane and i felt like it went on for hours! I have no idea who initiated this. After that night my entire life changed. I had felt depressed and sad and down for my entire life but in an instant it was like he had cured me. We started messaging as friends or about work but it has increased. We can be normal together and then other times the chemistry is insane, im not sure he notices it we have never spoken about it. We recently did a business trip together and realised how well we got on. We both said we have never laughed so much in our entire lives. We were on another level! The connection I have with him is like nothing I have ever felt before. It has nearly been 12 months now since the hug and I have not stopped thinking about him every day since. We have chatted about our relationships and i know he is unhappy in his marriage as was I. I have recently told my husband I want a divorce after I found out he had taken another loan out. I haven't been strong enough in the past to leave him but i feel like this other man has given me the strength i need im a completely different person in a different place to where I have been since I got to know him. I think I have fallen in love with him but the tradegy is he will never know. I can't leave my job because i love it so much its perfect. I'm at a loss at what to do. Ive never felt anything so incredible.