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Should I end relationship even though I love him

 
 
Jen88
 
Reply Tue 20 Mar, 2018 12:24 pm
As seen in my first post, I've had trust issues with boyfriend since he cheated and, after forgiving him, found he was lying about who he was with and deleting messages.
I decided to forgive him again on the basis that he never lies to me again.
Shock, I've since found out he's been deleting messages AGAIN.
Before I end things I just wanted some advice and opinions.
I really do love him and have done for 5 years. He says he loves me and knows deleting the messages was stupid but he only did so because he was worried I'd think it was more than it was.. Do I give him yet another chance or just end it now? Is it possible to regain trust after being lied to so many times?
I Know what I'd be saying from an outsiders perspective but I just can't imagine being without him.
Thanks in advance for any shares on personal experience and advice
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 448 • Replies: 5
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PUNKEY
 
  2  
Reply Tue 20 Mar, 2018 02:44 pm
Stay only if you can live with a pathological liar.
centrox
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Mar, 2018 04:10 pm
@PUNKEY,
PUNKEY wrote:
Stay only if you can live with a pathological liar.

Or a habitual liar, or just a liar.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Mar, 2018 04:15 pm
@Jen88,
You love him but do you like him?

He really doesn't sound very likable. He continues to lie to you and cover up his actions. Don't you deserve to be treated better?
0 Replies
 
najmelliw
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Mar, 2018 06:12 pm
@Jen88,
You place yourself in a conundrum when you state that rationally, you should end it with him, because you can't trust him, yet emotionally, you say you still love him.
I don't see a good choice that YOU can make here, because whichever you choose, you will always feel: did I make the right call?

My suggestion is that you do a, what do you call it, temporary break-up? Basically, just say that you need time and space to think about this relationship, and suggest he give you that space, by moving out(or you moving out, whichever suits you better). Mind you, it's just temporary. The way I see it,
a) You'll get a chance to seriously consider the pro's and cons of this relationship, without him around, clouding it for you emotionally at least.
b) He'll get to show how sincere he is in wanting to chance of better himself: if anything, this step shows him that you are in a serious quandary about this relationship, and that puts the ball in his court: either he mans up and meets your demands, or he doesn't, and give you an extra reason to end this.

That's just my two cents: whatever you opt for, I wish you the best of luck!
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Tue 20 Mar, 2018 08:24 pm
His kind if behavior does not change. It’s a compulsion - done even when there are consequences.
0 Replies
 
 

 
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