A year long affair.

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Hello Everyone,

I've joined to seek some support. To start off I married my spouse 02/2007. We had our first baby in 2013 and second in 2015, after our first baby our marriage started to crumble. I started to not trust my spouse because of unexplained loans and the shortage of funds we had available even though he worked almost everyday. Fast forward to 3/2017. I met this younger guy and we talked and mess each other everyday. I only did it because I wasn't getting much attention from my spouse. One day I decided to invite the guy over after I found out we had mutual family members and we ended up having sex. After that day we haven't stopped the affair nor do we regret it. I started falling for this guy because we hung out throughout the summer doing things my husband would disagree to. At that point my lover was asking me to leave my husband so that we can be together. I couldn't see myself just up and leaving my spouse. I am currently seeing my lover and I told him we have to end the affair and he's not so happy about it and told me that's not going to happen. Any suggestions would be really appreciated.

Thank you,
Feblue

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@feblue88,

Well, Feblue,

It really doesn't matter if your lover isn't happy compared to your legal spouse. The end result is,,,you're not going to be happy when your husband files for divorce and seeks 100% legal and physical custody. You'll pay Child Support and see your children every other weekend.

If you're ok with that, then by all means, continue what you're doing. If not, break it off and do not have contact with him.

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You have already "left" your spouse.

If you want to put this marriage back together, then you know what you must do - and not open it up to negotiation.

You have been unfair to both men here by not being honestly committed to either man.

Make up your mind.

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just have an honest discussion with husband and lover as to why you strayed from marriage in the beginning and why you want to be faithful to your husband now.

all depends on how your husband reacts to your confession. if he throws you away you may need your lover. if he is understanding then he will handle termination of contact with your lover.

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@feblue88,

feblue88 wrote:

I started to not trust my spouse

I only did it because I wasn't getting much attention from my spouse.

I started falling for

I couldn't see myself just up and leaving my spouse.

I am currently seeing my lover

why not leave your partner? why would you stay with someone you don't appear to be in love with?

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