My own in-laws were, from my pov, rather benighted (they refused to come to our wedding, for example), though also having some good points. It was never a problem with hub and I - so I don't automatically think it can't work.
Yes, osso. I keep telling myself that I am not marrying them, and he keeps telling me we'll work through this together and that he'll support me all the way through. we talked about his family a lot, so i have a pretty good idea of what it will entail, but since he's already a black sheep of the family and not willing to force me into anythting, it's gonna be us vs. them, not me alone. that i wouldn't be willing to take.
i also neglected my own family, turns out they have feelings, too. i think my parents feel sorta hurt that i informed them about this as a ready thing, and didn't take it more slowly - tell them in detail who he is, bring him over, ask them, get their blessings... but that was kinda impossible. i have some talking to do with my mom, so that she feels like she ought to. i do need her. not having her support is heartbreaking, i can't take that. i will need her.
so, a lot of footwork ahead in the next few months. oy. i sure hope i will look back and say it was so worth it. if the pentecoastal god arranged the destiny so that we meet this way, he better see to that it works. sure, trial by fire, seeing how committed we are, i get it. i just hope he'll know where to draw the line.
Yeh, with mom; can see where fur can stiffen up, given your mother's profession. As you know, one of the befuddlements of one's own growing maturity, is seeing parents in changing light..
yes, i can totally see it from her perspective. which is why i didn't tell them initially, i told my sister only. i didn't think she'd tell them, though to be fair i didn't tell her not to either. so they learned from her and not me, at a time when i didn't quite want to tell them yet. i wish i would have executed it with more care and control. so i have some ironing to do, but i think i know what it is that my mom needs from me at this point, so i'll work on that. gosh, marriage counselor for a mother, mediator for a daughter, and we still can't get it straight and easy. or maybe that's why.
Kaho=say
na=not
payr=love
hai=is
Kaho na Pyar Hai = Say "It's not love"
Errr ... in this case "na" does not meet "not"
The title of the movie roughly translates to "Go on. Say it. It is love"
Kaho na pyaaaar haaaaaai,
i have the music.
love the Chand Sitare... Heeeey, na na na na naaaaa naaaa.... great, now it will be stuck in my head all day.
BTW, I want to learn Hindi now. Care to converse in Hindi with me? I'll try to figure out what it means and hopefully remember a thing or two from it.
I know chand..has something to do with a moon and sitare with stars...am i right? sigh, it will be a long journey.
How do you say "how much?" in hindi?
Mera naam Dagmar hai.
...hmm, maybe i should start a new thread. yep, that's what i'll do.
Yes, yes. you're right. Kaho na = Please say.
Wait till Spidergal and Sakhi get to converse with you in proper Hindi.
I'm back. Here's my latest journal entry. I'll post some pics from Delhi in the afternoon.
One little, two little, three little cockroaches
I am attempting to upload something to my work website for umpteenth time, when electricity goes out again. I should have known. It's 4pm, it happens at around that time every day. Everything you're working on is guzzled by the innards of the computer, never to be released again. I try again after it comes back, everything takes forever, it's like swimming in molasses. Not that there's anything wrong with swimming in molasses if that's what you like. By 8pm I give up, I am also hungry as hell, and there's not much to be had in the dorm cafeteria- I should have come earlier. Florina talks me into going out to eat. Fine. Yay even.
We set out, walking against traffic on a dusty road. Why no sidewalks? Oh, that's because this is supposed to be a highway, she enlightened me. Dust is in my eyes and nose. If I mastered anything during my four stays in India, it's the staring. You can stare at me for as long as you please, I won't wince. I, the street-smart worldly traveler, know better than to stare back. If I go about my way and pretend I walk on this side of the road every day, even though they could probably count the amount of white people that passed through here on fingers of one hand, I'm fine. Almost normal.
Anyway, we pass a Muslim wedding, where we don't go, because Florina explains to me that I could only give well wishes to the bride. The groom is kept separate. They will meet tonight. In the bedroom. For the first time. Oy vey. I remind myself to thank heavens for my good fortunes every day.
We get to the "hotel" - which is a shack on the side of a road. That's what they're called. Tonight they have biryani or roti with curry chicken and/or chicken tandoori. So easy. No need to crack one's brain with what to pick from the menu. The place is dimly lit, metal tables have been wiped, that's obvious. What were they wiped with though is not. I don't wanna know. Two girls out alone, one of them white as a wall - we call attention of all the men around. No women anywhere in sight. And I see far. Food arrives on metal plates covered with newspapers. Rajeshwari Jewelry House is the best around, it announces. Talking to Florina I notice a decent sized cockroach on the wall behind her. I wish I didn't. Soon enough a small one comes to greet our roti on the table. Waah. My street-smart and worldly composure is tatam, as we Slovaks say (literally translated as "thethere" or "gogone". Don't ask). I cannot talk or listen, I see and imagine them everywhere. Turns out that what I first perceived as patterns on the walls were all cockroaches. Within seconds everything on me itches and chicken tastes fuzzy as if I had million hairy cockroach legs in my mouth. Collecting last bits of dignity I employ all my remaining concentration on maintaining some sort of a sane facial expression. I'm aiming hard to appear casual and in good spirits, but it's a real stretch. I pull out stories about touring Gypsy villages in Eastern Slovakia to assert to the public (Florina) that I've been places and seen many things and remind myself that I have experiences under my belt and something like this cannot shake me. So what if I eat a cockroach. It's protein. Brrrr. Eeeew.
After the lovely meal we get a sweet daal - beetle nut and coconut and cherry and whatnot wrapped in a beetle leaf. I never liked them too much, but I'll take anything to keep my mind busy. We walk home, most casually of course. After I say goodnight to Florina I high-tail it to my room, get two buckets that are there and go fetch warm water (there's only cold in the faucets and the weather is cold now. Well, cold for a cold shower that is) and give myself a good scrub. That's the kind of a heroine I am. Somewhere in the distance, a dog howled. (Many, actually. And there are sirens. What the BLEEP is going on?! Oh well, time to go to bed.)
Good for you, Dag. Nice to read you again.
When I was in Bangalore and using my friend's laptop, when the mains electricity went off (as it did frequently), if you quickly shut the lid of the laptop, the work was saved (or am I thinking of talking on Skype, to prevent the phone line being broken?) Anyway, maybe a laptop with auxiliary battery is the way to go.
McT
dagmaraka wrote:I'm back. Here's my latest journal entry. .....
A terrific read, dag.
You could be employed by Lonely Planet, on the side.
You're back! How'd that happen? You and littlek have been way too circumspect lately.
Live cockroaches as wallpaper in a restaurant. Um.
Glad to be reading along..
good to be back. went on a long motorcycle ride in the countryside outside of hyderabad - it was a lovely warm day, and the skies so blue. hyderabad is dusty, so it felt good to get a breath of fresh air and see the sun loud and clear. but the workshop starts in 15 minutes and I better go, since I lead it and all.
Ah, there's an entry to enliven my night. I can totally picture that frozen expresion of forced sanity. ha!
