Stupid Sayings

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Well, staying in sync with Kicky........haha

Whats one of the craziest/stupidest/ funniest sayings you've ever heard before?

I'll start..

Shaking like a Bitch Dog Shittin' a peach seed.

Rattlin' like a skeleton on a tin roof.

Gotta piss like a double cunted cow off a pole bride onto a flat rock.

He's 3 sheets to the wind.

Happy as a pig in the sunshine.

Don't know cottenseed hulls from cotton.

She's been rode hard and put away wet.

That womans a Bitch...registered with papers and all.

You don't have a snowballs chance in hell.

Full as a tick.

She's as cute as a speckled pup.

Colder than a well diggers ass.

Hotter than a fresh Fu###$ Fox in a Forest Fire.

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit..lol

Her ass looks like two pigs wallowering under a blanket.

Your a sensous woman...Sense you is up.......fecth me a beer.

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Jesus, I have never heard a lot of those...okay, I'll be back when I think of something good.

P.S. I like the one about the two pigs under a blanket. That's not stupid, it's just descriptive!

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drier than a popcorn fart (no idea what it means or where it comes from, but my dad used to say it)

crazy as a sh*t house fly

that ass looks like 10 pounds of potatoes in a five pound bag

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I've never heard of them either.

What do they mean?

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I love "chicken fit".

My SIL had surgery in Texas and we went down there to help out. One of the nurses was way Texas and said something like (I don't remember exact context) if she didn't get some paperwork to the insurance company they'd have a "chicken fit." Those two words had about 8 syllables.

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It's all blue potatoes to me.

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Possum Stompin' Drunk..lol

Couldn't hit the side of a barn with a bass fiddle

Don't know his ass from a hole in the ground.

Blind as a bat.

Couldn't find his ass with both hands.

Some more I thought of...lol

They are self explanatory...or to me they are......lol

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Shoot, just thought of some more..lol

He could melt my butter. Meaning he's gooooood looking.

That makes my liver quiver.

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One I use with the oldest boy who is smarter than me most of the time,
Usually he will give me the what if
In turn I respond with "If my aunt had balls she'd be my uncle"

just a few random

"if it were up your a$$ you'd know it"

"does a bear piss in the woods"

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Guess I'm educating ya'll with some southern slang..lol

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i've gotta piss like a rachorse

i've gotta piss like ten men

i'm so hungry my stomach thinks my throats been slit

i'm so dry i'm coughing up dust

he was so ugly, they used to have to tie a porkchop around his neck to get the dog to play with him

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Actually, I had a roommate who used to say that thing about "if it were up your ass..." but it wasn't "if it were up your ass you'd know it."

It was used whenever somebody asked him where something was. He'd always say, "If it were up your ass you'd know where it was." Am I being too picky about these stupid sayings? Sorry, I just loved that one.

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hmm too slow on the post, my eye roll was actually for kicky's blue potatoes

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once while stoned, i remember saying "boy, is my backpack ever empty, when it's not full", which was a pretty stupid thing to say

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Thanks, djjd62. That's better than the blank stare that it usually ellicits.

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Quote:

Actually, I had a roommate who used to say that thing about "if it were up your ass..." but it wasn't "if it were up your ass you'd know it."

It was used whenever somebody asked him where something was. He'd always say, "If it were up your ass you'd know where it was." Am I being too picky about these stupid sayings? Sorry, I just loved that one.

Nah ya ain't being picky,
In fact we used to expand on them,
"If it were up your ass you'd know aboutit, If it were in ya mouth you wouldn't talk about it"

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kickycan wrote:

Thanks, djjd62. That's better than the blank stare that it usually ellicits.

i told my nephews to start using it when i saw them at christmas, so i'm doing my part to help your cause

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Thanks! Its' only a matter of time now until I hear someone I don't know saying it...

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Don77 wrote:

Quote:
Actually, I had a roommate who used to say that thing about "if it were up your ass..." but it wasn't "if it were up your ass you'd know it."

It was used whenever somebody asked him where something was. He'd always say, "If it were up your ass you'd know where it was." Am I being too picky about these stupid sayings? Sorry, I just loved that one.

Nah ya ain't being picky,
In fact we used to expand on them,
"If it were up your ass you'd know aboutit, If it were in ya mouth you wouldn't talk about it"

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