Middle School-High School: Does it have to be this way?

A lot of this is, I understand, cultural. However, it doesn't have to be that way, and it certainly doesn't have to be that way forever.

True story time.

In the summer of 1986, I had finished law school and was studying for the bar exam. I would go to a prep class for 4 hours, eat lunch, return home or go to a friend's (she was also taking the New York bar), we would study for another 4 hours, and then I would go home for dinner and Vivian would have dinner at her home. This is before cell phones and texting so if we wanted to communicate, we did it by phone (primitive, I know).

Neither of my parents are lawyers. They saw me watching crappy movies on TV at night before bed. And I got the "why aren't you studying?" question. Well, maybe because I had been doing 8 hours a day, every single day with no days off? I could watch a lousy movie for an hour or two.

It did not affect things. I passed the bar that year.

So what I am telling you is, the constant studying is not worth it and it is probably counterproductive. Running in particular is probably something you should be doing, and not because of how it'll look on your college applications. You should be running (assuming you enjoy doing so) because of your own personal pleasure and also because it's good for you, not only to burn calories but it may fend off or lessen depression.

That having been said, the other thing I want to point out is that you're a smart guy, which means the hours you are putting in are probably not terribly productive ones. If you are taking a prep class or using a book and it is taking this much time, then it might be time to investigate other means of preparation, such as working with a tutor.

Your mother means well (my parents did, too), but to prep for the SSAT (I had to look it up as we didn't have this in my day; it's a standardized test to get a middle schooler into a private high school) to the exclusion of all else is wrongheaded. Your priorities should be (in more or less this order):

1. Your health (diet, exercise, and getting enough sleep, plus your own mental hygeine)
   
2. Your regular schoolwork, the here and now
   
3. SSAT prep
   
4. Art and other pursuits you enjoy
   
5. Social life

BTW, I agree that the video games and watching anime were and are a bad idea as both are time sinks. In the choice between those and the above five things, video games and watching anime shouldn't even have been a close 6th.

And one more thing. Maintaining a 4.0 average forever is often unrealistic. I'm not saying you could not have done it, but life changes and as you can see, you've suddenly got a lot more on your plate. You might not love your grades slipping, but that can happen. And your folks should be made to see that their relentless pressure is a big cause of that.

Your folks might not want to see that, and you might not be in a position to tell them that, but your teachers sure as hell can.

Thank you so much for the suggestions and encouragement! I really appreciate that you shared your own story!