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What does it all really mean?

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CONFUSEDLVR
 
Reply Mon 6 Nov, 2017 01:27 pm
I have a GF that claims I sex her too much, some days (not everyday or always) but we sometimes do it twice a day. Her sex drive isn't like mine, but she has gone outside of our relationship in the past and been with atleast 2 men that I know of.
I forgave her of her past indescretions because I do truly love her and we have been going to counseling.

During counseling she told our Therapist that I want it too much and that she cannot keep pace with me so she recommended that I get a side gf (as if she didn't mind).

That seemed strange to me and in my mind I reasoned that the only reason she suggested that was because she had someone else already or would use it against me to justify if she were to see someone else.

So I guess I just wanted to know if she is doing this out of sincerity or is it for other nefarious purposes?

PS: i don't want another woman, i don't cheat on her. I just want a great relationship with hot sex.
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PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Nov, 2017 01:42 pm
Are you making love two times a day - or are you just getting your rocks off?

There is a difference. She seems to resent being used by you just to relieve yourself.

Screw less; make love more. (Romantic, thoughtful, slow love where SHE is the one who gets pleased.)
CONFUSEDLVR
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Nov, 2017 03:21 pm
@PUNKEY,
I do make love on occasion but she isn't into long time durations of making love. Sometimes I massage her, rub her or caress her gingerly for several minutes before we start, I mix it up a lot and try not to be predictable, routine or boring so she never knows what's coming.

I should've mentioned she had gained several lbs so she isn't comfortable showing her body and I think this hurts her self esteem and may have lead to her being not as confident about her appearance.
PUNKEY
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Nov, 2017 04:27 pm
"she told our Therapist that I want it too much and that she cannot keep pace with me"

Why don't you just believe her?
mm25075
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Nov, 2017 04:46 pm
@CONFUSEDLVR,
"I do make love on occasion..."

Only occasionally? Maybe she would like to be loved ALL the time without the high standard of needing to have 'hot sex' every time. It's not always going to be 'hot'

IMHO...twice a day for a woman can hurt sometimes if not adequately treated with care...
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CONFUSEDLVR
 
  1  
Reply Mon 6 Nov, 2017 07:19 pm
@PUNKEY,
Honestly I have been dealing with trust issues and though she may not be cheating I have a hard time letting go of the past.

As far as lovemaking it isn't that I don't desire to make love to her more often it's a combination of her low sex drive coupled with her self esteem concerning the way she looks that has limited the amount of encounters we have or the duration of those encounters.
I am not a selfish person because I truly desire to satisfy her and I actually get more aroused and excited from her reactions to what I am doing to her than even what I feel physically.

I am trying hard to let go of the past but sometimes things trigger that part of me that doesn't want to let me heart give all the way in.
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