"Hear me now, I can't let it beat me..."

This is Monday.

Mondays are traditionally new beginnings anyway, mini- ones.
This is the first Monday of a New Year, and I heard a man talking about resolve--
He was smiling at the way he tossed the cigarettes into the garbage can the night before- while feeling GREAT-
success was so sweet, and he felt SO sure.
Now on the middle of a new day, he was straddled the dumpster, digging;
"Where in hell did the damn things go" he swore as he fumbled-- poor thing surging with the pangs of addiction--- resolve all gone down the toilet that was that putrid dumpster ...


Hearing his plight, I wilted in disgrace from my own miseries.
Swearing off my weaknesses (not smoking or drugs) for months and months, hell and misery wore me down, lied to me, made me weak...
On this new year---
I have resolved. I HAVE DONE THIS. IF I CAN SUCCEED ONE HOUR, I CAN FOREVER. IF I CAN MAKE IT ONE WEEK, I CAN FOR MANY WEEKS. IF I CAN SURVIVE AND BE VICTORIOUS IN THE LORD, (by HIS power) for one year, I CAN DO IT.

I am sick of digging in the dumpsters of life, lying on my face weeping-
feeling like yesterday's garbage...

Hear me now... I can't let it beat me...