Should I leave my wife for the other woman?

So when things get rough, you bail.

Nice message for your kids there.

Look, I am not against divorce but (a) your wife is trying and (b ) you have had a ton of upheavals and they are clouding your judgment and (c ) you need to give counseling some time to work and (d) you need to actually work at counseling and not just sit back and expect it to magically fix everything and, (e) your minimum wage pal, of course (!) is accepting of you because you can bring things she doesn't have. Namely, a better style of dating and perhaps living because you've got bucks.

Try telling your affair partner that you can't pay for anything for three months and see how eager she is then. I'm not saying it's a lead pipe cinch that she's a gold digger - she might not be. But this is a prime opportunity for one and you are easy pickings.

BTW, maintaining a 'friendship' with this other woman is an act of actively sabotaging your marriage and the counseling efforts to try and save it. Of course you can be friends with people of any gender, class, age, etc. But this one is different, and you know it. You're keeping her as a fallback plan. This is unfair to your wife and, in all honesty, it's unfair to the other woman as well.

People who are unhappy as a married couple often do better in a divorce situation. However, that being said, divorce is a money killer, between lawyer and court costs and the cost of two separate households. It's also hard on kids. If you are waffling, give your marriage another try and do so by jumping in with both feet and nixing the 'friendship' with your tattooed pal. As in, block her on all forms of communication - no tearful goodbyes or any of that crap. Just block her.

If your marriage can be saved, you need to make an effort. Right now, you're just marking time until you feel it's safe to hit the road. This is a horrible thing to do to your kids - and your wife, who you at least loved at one point in time.

If your marriage cannot be saved, then you can look your children in the eye when they are older and tell them you made an effort. And you can, hopefully, during counseling, make a plan for their futures. Because they are innocent in all of this and they deserve a home, clothes, schoolbooks, medical care, and the like, whether you stay with their mother or not.

Right now, your focus is on your smoking cupcake.

Put the focus on your marriage and your children now and make an effort, instead of just letting life happen to you.

You have really poor judgement about Women.

Get into counselung asap.

Nope, don't do it. You won't be happy, you only think you'll be happy by doing so. If you have reasons to divorce your wife, fine, but another woman can't be the driver of it.

Cycloptichorn

Thanks for your responses. It’s difficult to communicate the complexities of relationships without writing a book, so I understand and accept what you are saying as being very true within the context you are given.
I know leaving a slightly broken but stable marriage for a new, exciting person that I don’t share the frustrations of running a household in upheaval with is a plainly foolish decision with potentially serious consequences for my children. It also should be done without the influence of another potential partner to make sure it is for the right reasons.
My wife is never going to be a warm, loving person. It just isn’t her. To be around someone that I can tell genuinely cares about me and is capable of showing affection is intoxicating, even though she doesn’t have her life together right now. I never got much attention from women and I don’t really know how to turn her away. Also, she is starting to become friends with my wife since she is such a nice, easy person to get along with. The other woman has expressed feelings for me but neither of them know I feel this way, and I can’t really bring it up to friends and family. Maybe I just needed someone to listen. Thanks

Shrug. Then you already decided before you posted.