Havin' A Bad Day

So, my car gets repo'ed the day after I get my other car out from the impound for driving without registration. Paid the car note faithfully for 2 years until I head into a roadblock. Both my cars get towed within a day of eachother. Total cost to get them both back: $1,200.00.

This whole year was a freaking bad day back to back like the movie Groundhog's Day. Then this holiday season, the icing on the cake was all the bullshit that rolled into one massive snow ball of bad luck and misery. There's approximately 24 more hours of this year left and I'm thinking, "Man, am I gonna' survive?" While everyone opened presents Christmas morning, I woke up and greeted an 8 hour shift in a city full of white bigots and racists who've only seen the minority out of their own city limits. This New Year's eve I'm hopin' and prayin' to God that I survive the ongoing and ultimate struggle between man and man, food in my stomach or gas in my tank, playin Russian Roulette to help figure which bills I'm gonna pay this week. I'm stuck in a exception, makin' just enough to live but not enough to qualify for welfare.

So what will the year 2005 bring to me? Is this gonna be my year or what? Because before you know it a bad day turns into a bad month, a bad month into a bad year, a bad year turnin' into a decade of hardship. I think I've suffered enough, but who freakin' cares in this steel country? I get slapped with a ticket for not driving with proper ID, and soon I will face the judge. I wonder, will he judge me the way everyone else does? By the title of my job, the rating of my credit? Will he judge me differently because I live in the 'hood or because I drive and Acura?? Or... Will he judge me by my character?

You know, last week I was stressin' out, just feanin' for one hit from a ciggerette. It's 2am and I'm walkin' to 7-11 with the last 5 bucks left to my name when I bump heads with another stranger wandering into the dead night. And eventually the man asks if I would help him get a bite to eat. I went up to that store clerk and demanded 5 dollars worth of hot food. He seemed confused and agitated at my request, there was a line ya' know. I was holdin' up the line of 3 people who just wanted to go on their way. I said, "Listen. There's a man out there who's hungry and I want as many hot dogs I can get with 5 dollars." Nobody looked me in the eye. Stared at things that weren't that interesting as they held on to their own purchases greedily. I got one feeble thanks from the hungry man and we both went on our ways. I hope someday if there is ever a time I am hungry someone will open their hearts to me.

So your honor, how will you judge me?

Almighty God, how will you judge me?