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Thu 12 Oct, 2017 10:20 am
My Ex and I were together about 5 years ago and were together for around 3 of those years.
We ended up just arguing all the time and split, most likely down to immuturity at the time.
We didnt speak for around a year and then ended up coming back into communication, however at that
point she was with another guy. I visited and we chatted/hung out as friends fairly frequently.
This carried on for around a couple years catching up every so often until she was home for the summer
so we would meet up more frequently. I then realised that my feelings had come back and I wanted
to give things another try, eventually i mentioned it to her to which she replied she had thought about it
but wasnt sure if it work work as we are now such close friends. After some back and fore she agreed
to a date, this went fairly well with us having fun and a few kisses. She then felt that there was
no longer a spark between us and didnt want to carryon. After some back and fore I said ok but i
can no longer be her friend i needed some distance, she was not happy about this but agreed.
couple days later she reached out asking a pretty standard "could be googled" driving question so
we carried on speaking to which the topic of us arose, she said that she thinks im all she would ever
want in a man but is concerned that there is no longer that initial relationship excitement between us
we had another date which went much like the last one then after that we talked about staying quiet
together and going on holidays so i felt wow this is it shes into it, great!! so without realising
I sent her flowers and wrote her poetry (something i used to do when we were together) and texting
quite frequently so she became really distance, me not realising how strong i was coming on had pushed
her away by making her feel pressured as to my expectations. we had another chat and she said she
is content by herself and focused on her career (shes an actress) and isnt really sure what she wants in life
but her career is defo something that she needs to build on at this time, she is also still worried about the lack
of a spark. she feels that is the spark were there it wouldnt matter about how busy she was, she just wants
that excitement in order to get going with a relationship. In the midst of all this when we were
getting on better I booked Paris for us to go to next week, she was quite keen to go and still is
I truly believe this girl and I are soulmates and destined to be togther. I just cant see me connecting
as i do with her with anyone else. I realise this seems like a lost cause but if anyone has any advice on getting
that spark back? if its even possible, I really would do anything to get her back.Can a place as romantic as Paris
give us that spark?? I have some romantic things booked which she knows about. Any help is appreciated!
@Machomer,
Have you been to Paris? It has to be the rudest place on Earth, hard to get Romantic when you've got all that **** to deal with.
@izzythepush,
lol no I haven't been. Will keep an eye out for rude people though, thanks
@Machomer,
Have you considered Florence? That's bloody gorgeous.
She's too busy for you but not too busy to go on holiday? H mmmm.
Promise yourself that if she doesn't reciprocate some feelings during this holiday, you will go back being distant friends, and you will look for someone who is crazy about you.
You deserve that.
@Machomer,
Machomer wrote:
quite frequently so she became really distance, me not realising how strong i was coming on had pushed her away by making her feel pressured as to my expectations
we had another chat and she said she is content by herself and focused on her career (shes an actress) and isnt really sure what she wants in life
but her career is defo something that she needs to build on at this time
she is also still worried about the lack of a spark. she feels that is the spark were there it wouldnt matter about how busy she was, she just wants
that excitement in order to get going with a relationship.
In the midst of all this when we were getting on better I booked Paris for us to go to next week, she was quite keen to go and still is
I have some romantic things booked which she knows about.
be cautious
don't push the romance on the trip to Paris
let her take the lead
she's clearly noted that she doesn't want to feel pressured by your expectations
be available to her and her interests but try to stay chill and relaxed and enjoy the trip with your friend
try really hard to think of this as a trip with your friend NOT as a trip with a potential girlfriend - given your description of your past, that pressure could be a total downer for any potential future relationship