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Is this sentence correct?

 
 
Reply Sat 30 Sep, 2017 09:42 am
I would like to include this sentence in my cover letter, but wonder whether or not it is really correct:
"In my previous position, I had been recruited just 40 days prior to the deadline for submission of funding request to the World Bank."
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Type: Question • Score: 2 • Views: 484 • Replies: 5
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dalehileman
 
  -3  
Reply Sat 30 Sep, 2017 11:54 am
@patatalofineserb,
Pat, I'd'v not used a comma, but otherwise it seems okay

However with no context I wonder if Funding Request

Then also wonderin' if there shud be a 'a' or 'the' b4 'submission' or 'request'

...whether that second 'the' s/b cap


So let's hear from t'other guys !!

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ascribbler
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Oct, 2017 12:01 am
@patatalofineserb,
The sentence is irrelevant given that you don't claim responsibility for the submission.

In my previous position I was responsible for the compilation of our nation's funding request to the World Bank which required extensive research within a tight time frame.
PUNKEY
 
  0  
Reply Sun 1 Oct, 2017 05:35 am
@patatalofineserb,
Your sentence is OK.

Just use "I was recruited ....."
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izzythepush
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Oct, 2017 06:16 am
@patatalofineserb,
I would question the relevance of the information, if the deadline was not met then it doesn't make any odds. If you were not responsible for the deadline being met it's also irrelevant. If the deadline was met, and you were responsible, you need to say that.

When I worked for XXXX, I was able to ensure that the submission for funding from the Word Bank went through smoothly despite only joining the company forty days before the deadline for applications.
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dalehileman
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Oct, 2017 11:24 am
@ascribbler,
Quote:
In ...the compilation...which required extensive research ...
Scrib, I don't like that'n' somehow. There seems to be a subtle implication that there are several World Banks, only the one of which required compilation of a funding request

Somebody help me here, give us the tech language for what I'm tryin' to say
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