looking, for my ,father,

Ali,

This is not a great way to go about looking.

Instead, if your mother is not receptive to helping you, concentrate on public records about your birth and anyone you are in contact with who was around when your mother and father were together. Since you are saying it was a hookup, it is entirely possible it was a one-night stand. That makes it even tougher.

Also check out places where they could have met, such as where she worked or went to school, or local armed forces bases. Best of luck to you.

They did not go to school together and non of her long term friends want to assist me. Not even her sisters now my father. Please advise what steps I should take. Its not like she does not know him or know his where abouts. She just don't want me to know him, I sometimes get so angry at the world/ her.

Then respect her wishes.

About all you can do is ask her to write a letter to be sealed and given to you to read after her death.

Note: if she is that set against telling you anything, then your father is likely to be: dead, married to someone else at the time of your conception, a gay man who had a fling, a relative of hers, in jail, in a mental institution, a rapist, one of several guys during a group sex encounter, or one of a string of one-night stands (and she may or may not be sure which guy he is).

Of course he could also be someone of power where this would be a huge embarrassment. But the truth is, that's far less likely than the other scenarios I've outlined above.

People don't keep these sorts of secrets quite so closely unless they have a damned good reason to do so.

As a men, who is raising his kids now, I believe that every child has the right to know their parents. And every one who keeps their kids or does not give their kids the right to see their parents should be prosocuted. I grow up and leard to be repossible by myself which should not happen to any child. If you have bring kids in the world make sure you look after them in all aspects. I made it a point that I have kids with one lady and one lady only because I didn't want my kids to be running around the world looking for me. I am sure where ever my father is he is also looking for me and he is still alive.

Your devotion to your family is admirable.

It doesn't mean everyone thinks that way, even your own mother.

And your wishing and hoping that your father is looking for you? That's wishful thinking at best.

Find a way to accept your mother's take on all of this. If you must speak with her again about it, try not to nag. Listen to why she has such a problem with it. Don't just dismiss her wishes and her feelings in this.