Drunken Debauchery Happenings

Once, when I was staying at my friends house, we got pissed on red wine. Before 'turning in' I decided to have a shower. In the shower was all kinds of lotions and potions, I decided to 'exfoliate' my arse (drunks have such wisdom). Well, you've guessed it.....the next day my arse was killing me. I could hardly sit down, had to lie on the bed (face down) while Mr Sarah administered cold flannels to my raw buttocks, strange I felt no pain at the time!

and........once I got up (still pissed) and did the laundry, hung it out on the line, walked to the shops and back to get the moring papers....with a pair of Mr Sarah's undies still on my shoulder! When I got back Mr S said (in a very calm voice) "take me sniffies of your shoulder, and I'll make your breakfast"

and........my brother got really drunk and was sick out of his bedroom window - he killed my Dad's tomato plants! My Dad spent ages perusing his Gardening Encyclopaedias trying to identify the strange 'fungus'

we don't have enough time......but once a particularly obnoxious drunk at my hotel room ended up with his prosthetic leg floating in the motel swimming pool....that's a mild one....

Q. What's got three legs and lives on a farm?

A. The McCartneys

Well........I think it's funny

I recall havin' once had the good fortune to have been in the enclosed cab of a speedin' stakebed truck fulla inebriates when one of the crowd ridin' back in the open bed decided to take a leak over the side. The folks ridin' back there with the goof didn't much appreciate the resultin' demonstration of laminar flow and vortex effect as applied to fluid dynamics

I've probably done more stupid things sober than drunk.

I really can't point out one particular thing..maybe almost stripping at the strip club?

Attending a fraternity Halloween party in the late Seventies, I wore a clergy shirt (priest's collar).

This was the evening I mistook the Scotch for the bourbon (having already consumed entirely too much bourbon) and mixed it with Coke. Noticed something tasted off, but this gave me barely any hesitation.

Got sick, passed out for a few hours, had some interesting photos taken with topless women lying beside me, woke up, tried to drive home, went off the road, got a flat, passed out behind the wheel. The police came along and woke me up but didn't run me in. They did tell me I had better not be seen on the roadway until I was sober.

Daylight woke me, so I fell out of my car and began changing the tire.

As it happened, I had come to a stop in front of a Catholic church, and several nuns kept walking past me, on the shoulder of the road, on their way from the convent to early Mass.

"Good morning, Father." "Good morning, Father." "Would you like some help, Father?" "You're so thoughtful to help, Father."

Paining in the throes of a screeching hangover, I couldn't manage a laugh; I could only say, Good morning Sister, No Sister, Thank you Sister...

Wasn't funny at the time but sure seems funny now.

These are really funny. I can't add anything close but I did sing The Yellow Rose of Texas once at a nice restaurant after imbibing way too much champagne--my ex-husband wasn't pleased...


What is much worse, yet much more memorable is the time I threw up in Dys' moccasin. He was so sweet, holding my head (probably trying to steer me away from the shoe) and not complaining (much) about the ruined moccasin. I tried washing it and leaving out in the sun, but nothing worked. New moccasins for Dys.
Soooo lame compared to the rest of you. I'll just sit back and read...

was at a party for a friend when he got a bit over zealous and started to try and race guys drinking out of a glass with the pitcher he had. well he threw up in the pitcher and looked around to see if anyone was watching and then turned the mug back up... thats right... he drank his own vomit....

That is f'n vile.

I think I've mentioned this before on this site, but one of my roomates in college was a baseball captain. This took place in a townhouse we lived in, not just a dorm room.

They had an initiation for the freshmen baseball players. One of the upper-classmen stood on a table with his pants around his ankles, and one freshman at a time had to get on his knees behind this kid while other guys poured beer down his asscrack....right into the freshman's mouth.

I sent an action picture I took of this in to a couple of very high traffic websites(consumptionjunction and stileproject), whom both posted.

LOL! I'm off to bed, but I'll be back when I think of something good.

oh how i love consuptionjunction... sucha great site... almost as bad as steakandcheese..... -shivers- oh yea it was vile man... there were chunks and everything...

Oh yea, I sent it to steakandcheese, but never saw if they posted it. It's hard to track all the pictures on there.

The funny thing about stile, I remember how he linked it into a paragraph. He mentioned something about a college party, and "damn, I wonder what kind of beer this is?"

started off as light but ended up dark.... ew

I don't know if it's true, but I heard this kid took a couple dumps that day and didn't wipe.

If that's true, that's disgusting on a couple levels.

well that would make the rights of passage a bit more "meaningful?" i dont even want to think about it... thats much worse then drinking your own vomit

I know the freshmen didn't hear this rumor...

well if they did they were way to wasted by the time it got to that point to remotely care...

The initiate shoulda heeded the advice "Just say no to crack"

"Crack a cold one."