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Sat 11 Dec, 2004 04:55 pm
There needs to be some kind of service...something for the poor shlub who has the misfortune of having something go awry when dealing with a big bureaucratic company or organization.
Today, for me, it was the post office. I was trying to pick up a very important document (my original birth certificate) that was sent to me three days ago and is now in post office limbo somewhere--priority mail my ass! Anyway, I get there, and the f*cking guy behind the window (nice guy, by the way) can't find it, and the best he can do is shake his head at his incompetent co-workers and give me a phone number that I can call Monday. So now I have no clue where my birth certificate is.
Wouldn't it be cool if there was a service you could call--some tracking and accountability service--that could track down exactly what went wrong, find the exact person or persons responsible for the mistake, and bring them to you tied up in a burlap bag so that you could beat the hell out of them with a baseball bat for about an hour?
Sounds great kicky - except for when someone tracked me down, put me in a burlap sack and hit me with a baseball bat for about an hour....
I got some time available, and plenty of empty burlap feed bags layin' around, kicky - whaddaya pay?
Tell ya what, Timber...you track them down, bring them to my door in a burlap bag, hand me the bat, and I will give you a blank check.
Would this position pay well and have good benefits?
Seriously: can't you track priority mail with it's number?
Supposedly you can. But I called, with the number, and they told me it was at the postal center that I went to today. Obviously, someone needs to be stuffed in a bag and beaten with a baseball bat in this case.
I dunno, kicky ... I ain't really done mucha this kinda work myself before, but I do know some folks who sorta make a side-career of it - sorta party freinds really, not close associates, but all in all pretty straight-up guys. We just happen to belong to the same Harley Owner's Group. From what I understand, checks ain't acceptable payment. I think ya gotta supply your own baseball bat, too, but I'll check on that, if you'd like.
Actually, you are invited to invest in my new venture, the Perfection-Required-Inforcement-Corporation. Once your check clears my bank you will receive a certificate declaring you to be a total PRIC and allowing you to rail against the incompetence of the remaining 99.999% of the human population--to say nothing about computers.
(Sorry about the priority mail snafu-are they threatening deportation again?)
And the lesson you have learned here kicky is:
very important documents are rather sent with
Fed Ex and not be trusted to the local post office
of your choice.
Can't you get a replacement from your hometown?
We heard a buddy of timber's was lookin' for a little help.
Where's the beer, and whadda we gotta do?
You've heard the story about the long-time postal service employee who was being given a retirement party. After receiving the gold watch and all, he was asked to say a few words. His few words were: "Whatever you do, don't put my pensions checks in the mail."
Kicky, I might offer to hold accountable if you would be so kind to tell me how much he/she weighs. My upper body strength isn't what it used to be.
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