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Wed 2 Aug, 2017 12:01 am
So I had been hanging out with this girl for a while. We were just hanging out as friends for a couple months. We would see each other at least once a week and occasionally 2 to 3 times. We only really went climbing, slack lining or worked out together. I had asked her a couple times to do something more along the lines of a date but she always would say she was busy. Then one day, my one friend who knows this girl as well told me she told him she was seeing someone. So I confronted her and told her I liked her. She then ended up telling me that she was seeing someone and she would never go out with me and we could only be friends. She comes from a strict hasidic jewish family so not sure if that has anything to do with it. I was kinda confused and shocked why she wouldn't have mentioned anything like this to me at all before. She would always act kinda flirtatious with me such as: asking me to stretch her and complement my eyes, body and personality traits. So to say the least I was quite hurt. Since then we don't really talk, but we went climbing once. After that I stopped texting her to hangout. However she recently texted me to go climbing, but ended up we couldn't because the place was closed. Since then we haven't talked. Today though, I saw her at a starbucks like a block from my place and thought that was pretty weird.I told her I lived in that area like multiple times, it's possible she forgot, but I kinda doubt it. I just thought I was weird to see her there by herself as she doesn't even live in the area. Anyways I texted her
here is a blip of the first part of the convo
Me : "Did I just see you at the starbucks or was I hallucinating?"
her: "Lol yes, Were you driving?"
Me: "Neat, just chillin like a block from my place. If I didn't know any better I'd call you a stalker. Yeah, I was. I saw you eating something with a spoon though so wasn't sure if it was you, cause I couldn't imagine you eating a food that requires that utensil"
her:"Nice-didn't know you lived near here. You could still call me a stalker... I was eating a nectarine.. without a spoon. So you might have been partially hallucinating"
I was just curious about her saying "You could still call me a stalker..." if that is her flirting or not. I might must be over thinking that sentence.
@protonelectron,
take it easy. in the early stages of the love .you two are very sensitive and always exasperate the other.it is normal. i hope you can stand the test and find out the true love
@protonelectron,
protonelectron wrote: We were just hanging out as friends
this is what it's about
she sees/saw you as a friend. full stop.
what you perceived as flirting seems like normal conversation to me - but since you were hoping for more than a friendship, you may have wanted to read more into it
__
she's in a relationship and thought you were her friend.
if you're not cool with being friends (and nothing more), then don't hang out with her anymore
___
from my perspective you were waaay over-reading the text
@protonelectron,
protonelectron wrote:I was just curious about her saying "You could still call me a stalker..."
You brought stalking into the conversation. You are deeply overthinking. She was just echoing what you said.
@protonelectron,
protonelectron wrote:
... She comes from a strict hasidic jewish family ....
If she is at all strict, then this is it in terms of a relationship with her. Friends and nothing more. Forget the flirting (if there even is any). If you're Hasidic, then you marry not only within the faith but in the Hasidic community itself. There are no other options.
@jespah,
Yeah, this is what her brothers and sisters have seemed to do. But I don't like giving up too easily.
I have just never been friend zoned before. I have never experienced thinking someone likes me only to have them tell me that they don't like me that way back. It's just the first time that I have literally ever felt insane or I must be crazy for having thought she liked me. I feel like I am being gas lit.
@ehBeth,
Well I mean she had to know I liked her since I asked her to do more date like stuff multiple times. I just don't know why she didn't tell me she was seeing someone when I asked her that. She only told me when I had to bring it up after like 2 months of hanging out.
@qqwqy,
What is the test exactly?
@protonelectron,
protonelectron wrote:
Yeah, this is what her brothers and sisters have seemed to do. But I don't like giving up too easily.
It's very easy for you because it's not your life that will be turned upside down.
@izzythepush,
Is this really what it is like for jewish communities though? Do girls really have to marry within the community? I always thought that this was more important for males?
@protonelectron,
Read Jespah's post about Hasidic Jews. That's what I was going on. If someone is from an insular religious group you shouldn't try to force them out of it. The decision should be theirs. It all seems like a casual distraction to you because you won't have to deal with the consequences.
This thread was started by you to justify your selfish actions, there is no justification.
@protonelectron,
The Hasidic community, yes.
Most of us are not Hasidic. Maybe do a little reading.
http://www.jewfaq.org/
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